Today I shall list the priorities of someone who is married. They are in order of importance. Without your priorities in the right order of importance, how can you work TOWARD anything. You just wander aimously through life, never growing any deeper in any area of your life that you hold in any value.
A Husband's Priorities:
1. God
2. Wife
3. Children
4. Job
5. Community
A Wife's Priorities:
1. God
2. Husband
3. Children
4. Home
5. Community
Notice that there are two seperate and different lists. Though they are very similar, they are also very different. Men and women, husbands and wives have different priorities because they are different, and they hold different roles in the relationship. They are equal in value and importance; but they are, and must remain different to be a partnership. If husbands and wives try to hold the same roles then it becomes a competition with no one ever having a chance of winning. But, if they both have a set of priorities that work together to make a bigger whole, then it is a complimintary partnership. Just like God is a trinity, our families are trinities. God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; we have Husbands, Wives, Children. Each partner in the Trinity are the same entity, yet play different roles in the creation and salvation of creatures; each person in the marriage and family are the same entity, yet play different roles in the building and salvation of souls.
Husbands and Wives should both put God first in their lives. Prayer, worship, and growing towards a closer union with God should be everyone's number one priority in their day. Without this, you are not in the right place to share anything with anyone, complete anything to the best of your ability, or help anyone else. The goal of life is to be granted a place in eternity WITH God. You may only earn this through God's Mercy, and God's Mercy is granted to those who ask for it. The closer relationship you have with God, the better the chances you have of asking Jesus for that Mercy. Husbands and wives are also accountable to God for each other's souls. Not only should you be building your own relationship with God, but you must be helping and encouraging your spouse to do the same. It is the top priority of your marriage vocation. This leads to priority number two.
Your spouse. Marriage is a vocation for life. Children grow up and leave home; family members move away, jobs come and go, houses come and go. Marriage is what we want standing in the end. Our marriage is our life. Just as the religious men and women in the monestaries and convents let their religious vocations guide where they live, the people they live with, and the jobs they do; we should allow our marriages to lead us the same.
Children: Having children is the fruit of marriage. God brings them forth from your love of one another. According to the Catholic church married couples must be open to new life unless there is grave reasons not to. A grave reason is the mother's health when there are still young children at home who need her. Your annual income, and the number of bedrooms in your home are NOT grave reasons to not have children. Note also, that your children are not the number one priority in your life. They may take up the majority of hours in your day, but their every need, want, desire, and ideal schedule is not the number one priority. God is. And teaching them to love, honor and obey God is priority over sports games and dare I even say, Girl Scouts! And that is the goal of Parenting. To raise children who love, honor, and obey God; to produce souls for God in Heaven. Just like us, their ulimate goal should be a place in eternity.
Your job is next. A husband's job is to work and make money to provide a roof for his wife and children, and food for their tummies. A wife's job is to maintain that house and food to make best use of it for her husband and children. You read that right. I believe women should stay home, and men should work. This is the heart of their partnership. A major part of the building of trust, respect and love in the marriage. The wife must trust that her husband will be able to provide for their needs, and the husband must trust that his wife will not squander their money and resources. Here also, is where a lot of marriages break down. They put job and priority number one, and from there all crumbles. There are exceptions to this. When my husband's business failed I had to help him provide food and clothing for our at the time three very small children. I used the resources available. I sold items we no longer needed, and others we could easily do without. I re-evaluated the way in which, and where we spent our money to more economical ways. I also took a small job as the manager for the income based housing in our town. This was a small job that gave us monthly grocery money, and that I was able to do from our computer at home.
Your community. Loving and serving your neighbors is commandment number 2 according to Jesus.
I plan to expand on all these a little further, but looking back over it, I believe it to be a good introduction to these areas of focus. Somebody with a strong background in the Catechesis may have some suggestions, comments, please feel free to comment these, they will all be read with a loving eye!
A Husband's Priorities:
1. God
2. Wife
3. Children
4. Job
5. Community
A Wife's Priorities:
1. God
2. Husband
3. Children
4. Home
5. Community
Notice that there are two seperate and different lists. Though they are very similar, they are also very different. Men and women, husbands and wives have different priorities because they are different, and they hold different roles in the relationship. They are equal in value and importance; but they are, and must remain different to be a partnership. If husbands and wives try to hold the same roles then it becomes a competition with no one ever having a chance of winning. But, if they both have a set of priorities that work together to make a bigger whole, then it is a complimintary partnership. Just like God is a trinity, our families are trinities. God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; we have Husbands, Wives, Children. Each partner in the Trinity are the same entity, yet play different roles in the creation and salvation of creatures; each person in the marriage and family are the same entity, yet play different roles in the building and salvation of souls.
Husbands and Wives should both put God first in their lives. Prayer, worship, and growing towards a closer union with God should be everyone's number one priority in their day. Without this, you are not in the right place to share anything with anyone, complete anything to the best of your ability, or help anyone else. The goal of life is to be granted a place in eternity WITH God. You may only earn this through God's Mercy, and God's Mercy is granted to those who ask for it. The closer relationship you have with God, the better the chances you have of asking Jesus for that Mercy. Husbands and wives are also accountable to God for each other's souls. Not only should you be building your own relationship with God, but you must be helping and encouraging your spouse to do the same. It is the top priority of your marriage vocation. This leads to priority number two.
Your spouse. Marriage is a vocation for life. Children grow up and leave home; family members move away, jobs come and go, houses come and go. Marriage is what we want standing in the end. Our marriage is our life. Just as the religious men and women in the monestaries and convents let their religious vocations guide where they live, the people they live with, and the jobs they do; we should allow our marriages to lead us the same.
Children: Having children is the fruit of marriage. God brings them forth from your love of one another. According to the Catholic church married couples must be open to new life unless there is grave reasons not to. A grave reason is the mother's health when there are still young children at home who need her. Your annual income, and the number of bedrooms in your home are NOT grave reasons to not have children. Note also, that your children are not the number one priority in your life. They may take up the majority of hours in your day, but their every need, want, desire, and ideal schedule is not the number one priority. God is. And teaching them to love, honor and obey God is priority over sports games and dare I even say, Girl Scouts! And that is the goal of Parenting. To raise children who love, honor, and obey God; to produce souls for God in Heaven. Just like us, their ulimate goal should be a place in eternity.
Your job is next. A husband's job is to work and make money to provide a roof for his wife and children, and food for their tummies. A wife's job is to maintain that house and food to make best use of it for her husband and children. You read that right. I believe women should stay home, and men should work. This is the heart of their partnership. A major part of the building of trust, respect and love in the marriage. The wife must trust that her husband will be able to provide for their needs, and the husband must trust that his wife will not squander their money and resources. Here also, is where a lot of marriages break down. They put job and priority number one, and from there all crumbles. There are exceptions to this. When my husband's business failed I had to help him provide food and clothing for our at the time three very small children. I used the resources available. I sold items we no longer needed, and others we could easily do without. I re-evaluated the way in which, and where we spent our money to more economical ways. I also took a small job as the manager for the income based housing in our town. This was a small job that gave us monthly grocery money, and that I was able to do from our computer at home.
Your community. Loving and serving your neighbors is commandment number 2 according to Jesus.
Matthew 22: 37-39 He said to them, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments."We can not sit by or close in on ourselves that we do not see or serve those around us. It is the duty and privilage of all Christians, not only to resepect and care for our immediate neighbors to the left and right of our own homes. It is also to help and serve those in our circle of relationships, parishes, businesses, schools, towns, state and county, and the world. God gave all of us special talents and abilities and we are to use these to better the world and spread his message. For a start, and so as not to hinder your time and ability to keep the other four priorities above this one; choose one committe from your parish, and one committe from your job, your kids' school, or town to join. Pray before you act, asking God to guide you to the right committee and the right place in that committee.
I plan to expand on all these a little further, but looking back over it, I believe it to be a good introduction to these areas of focus. Somebody with a strong background in the Catechesis may have some suggestions, comments, please feel free to comment these, they will all be read with a loving eye!
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