What We Do All This For...

Here is a blog post I would like to share about God's love, and Heaven, and what it is like. Please take a moment to read it, it is not long. He is a profound writer!

http://leotrese.blogspot.com/2011/05/part-two.html

Springtime

What a spring we are having! One of my favorite times of the year. Everything is warming and growing, and the senses are filled and renewed. The trees are budding, the bulbs are sprouting, and sun is shinning, and the kids are getting awnry! Springtime is such a renewal of the earth, and of the heart and soul towards God. It is so appropriate that Lent always falls during Spring!


I have been dwelling lately on my life, and the way that it is being led. One thing is for sure.. I am NOT okay with the thought that this is the life I am prepared to stand before God with. Things will change. With each new child I have screamed louder and harder about not being able to keep up with the daily/weekly/yearly household chores, having time to pray/read scripture, and teaching the kids the virtues that I want them to have as adults. I attempted a few years ago after reading Holly Pierot's  A Mother's Rule of Life to create a Rule. Though it has failed miserably, even after trying ever since to keep it. I went into it, wanting to make a schedule that I could keep, force on my family, and keep me happy and peaceful. I have not been happy or peaceful for years.


Last night we watched the old sixties movie of St. Francis, and saw him develop and defending his Rule has re inspired me not to give up on my Rule, but to restart with the right intentions. I have been doing research on the internet this morning, and have found lots of resources, guides, blogs on the subject. Good to see that I am not the only one who struggles with this concept of living life wisely, and well! Over the next few days I will be praying and developing my Rule, and shall share it with you. Hopefully my journey of Rule development, will help you with developing one for you.

Today I shall share with you part of the reflections of  St. Francis of Assisi's in developing his Rule.

The Way to Serve and Work
This is the chapter which is dedicated to Minority or Humility. It is expressed in our way of life and moving through the world. Therefore, any Service or Work should reflect our Franciscan spirit and identify us. To "live in conversion" not only supposes service to God but also to serve as "minors" in working for a better world.
  Francis based his idea of minority on the person of Jesus:

• who came to serve and not to be served.
• who chose to announce the Good News and peace to the poor.
• who adopted an attitude of humility and meekness..

This chapter gathers together the views of Francis about work and its purpose:

• to work so as to give an example.
• to avoid idleness.
• to provide for the needs of the Fraternity.
• to share the situation of ordinary people.
• to serve others.

18. Therefore, in deciding to say "yes" to a work or occupation, we see being able to work is a gift of God, to be done with fidelity and devotion, as a way of avoiding idleness and providing a service and a means of expressing our condition as poor people.
We are to refuse any work which smothers the spirit of prayer and devotion by not allowing space for prayer, which ends up in activism, and which does not reflect spiritual values or which is not in accord with our status as poor brothers and sisters.
19. We reflect and "preach" the value of minority or humility:

• in humbly accepting wages for the work done.
• in being satisfied with having the necessities of life.
• in remembering that we are servants of God and followers of holy poverty.
• in sharing with the poor what is not needed.
• in seeking to avoid power and authority and prosperity.
• in being servants ( repeated 5X in nos. 18 & 19 ).
• in being submissive to every human creature for the sake of God.

This vision of Francis agrees very well with the criteria expressed in Perfectae Caritatis 13 and in the new Code of Canon Law.
20. This article begins with a list of qualities, attitudes and behavior which makes those who practice them living witnesses of humility and thus believable witnesses of Franciscan peace. Francis wants his followers to be meek, modest and humble and proposes that they speak to all respectfully and speak whatever may seem useful. Wherever they go they are to avoid arguments, involvement in litigations, or in judging others.



I shall meditate on this passage as I do my dishes, laundry, and cleaning the kids rooms. To meditate as you work, you need to keep the music off, so you can hear yourself, and God.

Priorities For Our Children

This weekend I had a mother say to me that in high school all the children are expected to be in all the clubs and on all the sports teams at the school. She said in high school one of their classes is study hall, just to do their daily homework because they have activities from 7:30 am till 7-8pm at night! We live in a small town and the total population of our school, grades Pre-K thru 12th is 150. Am I the only person in the world that sees a problem with this?? She also had the audacity to make the statement that "several kids have tried to move into our school, but don't get into all the activities and are therefore completely excluded and friendless." Am I the only person that finds this completely insane!!?? And then people wonder what is happening to our country and morals! Her philosophy is that it looks good on a resume.

That is all well and good, however, what is the goal of life? To get a high paying position, title and wealth? Or is it to get into Heaven? To be an obedient servant of God's? To love God and your neighbor? Where in all this business. busyness and pushing for the top position is God? As parents, it is our responsibility to our children, and to God, to teach them the virtues and priorities to be successful in this life, AND THE NEXT! How are we to do this, if we don't even see our kids? Kids should be taught to TRY new things, but it is not expected of them to be the best in ALL things. We are all given special talents and abilities by God, and it takes time to discover and nurture these talents so that we can use them for God. In order to discover what your talents are, and what God is wanting from your life, you must have QUIET, STILL hours in the day. If we want our children to develop virtues and morals they need to spend more hours a week with people who are demonstrating these virtues and morals, and who are willing to listen and talk with them openly about these morals and virtues. Who are these people? THEIR PARENTS! Family time needs to be a priority on a DAILY basis. Remember.. it is quantity time that leads to quality time.

Do you honestly think that all these so called friends, who are by definition, trying to best you in clubs and sports, going to give you the loving guidance, support, and trust, that parents are supposed to? Nope.

Sports are supposed to be a fun way to play with our friends and get some exercise; they are not a definition of our lives. Clubs and organizations are supposed to help us develop the interests and talents that we have, and a way for us to serve our community using those talents; they are not there as a "who can do the most" contest. We can not do everything or anything ourselves. We are dependent on God. Our relationship with Him is the priority of our lives, and our children's. We develop this relationship by spending time with Him. God doesn't want us to do everything. He has a specific job for each of us, not ALL of the jobs, that is why we are communities of lots of people, each of whom as a special place and ability to help the community.

If we exclude and shun people who "don't keep up" will we recognize God if he knocks on our door?

Things to think about..  

Re-discovering Integrity

A wonderful article about teaching children integrity. As parents this is one of our most important tasks, next to teaching them to love God, love others, and to serve others; which is impossible without integrity. With integrity we achieve full responsibility for ourselves, high maturity, and virtuous lives.


Re-discovering Integrity

Making Decisions for the Greater Good

Sometimes in life you have a moment happen, almost without you realizing what is happening till it has happened. I am talking about the kind of moments that shock you down to your core and make you stop in your tracks realizing how far from your goals and morals and ethics you have just unknowingly strayed. These moments create an atmosphere to make what most would proclaim as a very hard decision, a very easy one to make after all! My husband and I had a moment as we were watching TV, a favorite show of ours, and heard one of the main people, someone we both looked to for encouragement and direction, say something so far from what it not only means to be a Catholic, but a Christian in general. And then to realize that our 9, 6, and 4 year old just heard it also. We reflected and discussed later the impact this statement may have on our kids, and the Bible verse came to my mind where Jesus is telling the people "If your eye causes you to sin, then gouge it out, of your right arm causes you to sin, then it is better to cut it off". We took a long hard look at the shows we were watching on TV, and what the kids were watching. Not they were all bad, as EWTN is the main channel our TV tuns into. I had already previously banned shows after reviewing with my daughters (ages 9 and 6) about how the characters behave and dress, and how they are with or against how God wants us to. So Hannah Montana and the like were quickly agreed all around to go, long before this incident. How easy it is to see someone else's habits as wrong before we see them in ourselves. My husband and I agreed to simply turn off our TV subscription. It has been a month, and not to worry, we are all okay! We are all reading more, playing together more, getting along easier, and getting chores done more quickly. The "I wants" are getting fewer also with the subtraction of all those commercials! I am not saying that everyone has to turn off their TV's, but I am saying you may want to evaluate what you are watching, and ask yourself, is this in accordance with the 10 commandments and, what deadly sins are these characters committing, and how are these shows forming my personality and idea of how I should be living my life!

Pray this next week, and following weeks; for graces and guidance in determining you and your family's TV viewing habits, and critically evaluate what is and is not bringing you closer to God, and to each other. Then pray for the grace and determination to make the changes.

I have been neglecting my blog and my prayers the past couple of weeks. I can easily blame it on the hectic year end schedule and all the chaos of extra and unexpected bills, and I have just been completely exhausted the past couple of weeks, and haven't been sleeping well. The sad part is that instead of sitting in front of facebook games, I should have been praying more and opening up on this blog more.

 Jesus told me I need to start making it more personable, instead of just trying to get pages researched and written. This blog should be more about life, real life, real problems, chaos and real talk with solutions. So here goes!

When you feel yourself pulling away from God when things start getting too real, the easiest thing to do is to walk around in a fog, whining about your failures. It takes trust and discipline to keep praying and trusting in God. To keep Hope. When you feel this happening in your life, stop and say a short prayer acknowledging these feelings and asking for the grace to see past them, and to keep your eyes on Him. This is also when it is good to know some saints that can help you. Something that you should do is choose a Patron Saint for your marriage and family. Ours is St. Michael the Archangel, the great defender, and he has never failed us! Pray and ask Jesus which saint is best for you and your family. He will guide you to the one that is best for your life.

It is shameful that when things start going against plan or schedule the first thing we neglect is God, when in reality this should be the time that we turn to him more. He wants to talk with us about our concerns and worries and problems just as much as being praised for all the good things, times, and graces that He gives us! It is also wrong that when things get stressful in life, it is your spouse that you neglect second. The other morning I awoke to see my husband sitting on the couch praying. I knew he was praying for me and for us, and it really opened my eyes to what I have been neglecting, and I thank God that I have been given such a wonderful husband who is trying his hardest to be the man and husband that God intends him to be. Husbands remember that it is you that sets the tone of your home and family, the stronger you are spiritually, the stronger your wife and children will become.


It is okay to fail, but it is not okay to just lie there wallering in your own misery. You must get up, apologize, pray, brush yourself off and try again!

Showing God Respect

Another aspect to keeping God as your number one priority is to respect Him. By this, I mean several things, first is to do your best to follow the 10 commandments without complaining, and to apologize when you fail. Honor the Pope and ALL of the Church's teachings and doctrines as directives from God Himself, because they are. Recognizing that the rules handed down by the Church are rules handed down from God for your own good. They are there to help you stay on the narrow path to sainthood. Remember this truth: individual people are imperfect sinners, but the Church is infaliable in it's doctrine's. Jesus himself makes sure of it, He has promised it, and He never fails to fulfill His promises!

Other practical and small ways to respect God is to not take the Lord's name in vain. The phrase "Oh my God" is one that is in way to wide a use these days. It is one thing to say it in response to shocking and devastating news, another when you are gossiping or mocking someone! Being faithful to God in the smallest matters, makes it easier to be faithful in the largest ones.

Another important way to show God respect is dressing and behaving appropriately at mass, and other Church related functions. You wouldn't wear flip flops and jeans to meet the president, therefore you should not wear them to feast with Jesus! The proper attire for attending mass is dresses for women and girls that are at least knee length, and that do not show the bust, back or shoulders; and dress pants (slacks or khaki's) for men and boys with at least a nice polo shirt if not a button-front shirt with tie. Also mind your shoes are clean and appropriate for the clothing choice. It is also still customary, to show humility before God, for women to wear a mantle, and it is inappropriate for ladies to cross their legs during mass. You should sit with your knees together and feet tucked under the pew. I get so angry when I see people, especially the alter helpers and song leaders wearing tank tops and flip flops. That is disgusting! Proper mass behavior is to follow the local Parish customs of when to sit, stand and kneel, to sing the songs, to shack hands, to listen to the readers and Homily with proper eye contact and mental focus, to bow before approaching the alter and Eucharist, and to not talk before and during mass. Before mass is to be used for inner reflection and to prepare yourself for receiving the Lord. During mass, all the angels are prostrated in prayer and awe, the least you can do is not chit chat about where to go for lunch afterwards!

It is also your responsibility to teach your children to do these things as well. If they are taught from the beginning what is appropriate dress and behavior they will grow into teen-agers and adults who respect God. Dress your kids correctly and teach them to behave properly right from the start. For my kids I have them following along, doing all motions by the end of first grade.

The Partnership of Marriage

In every partnership there is a leader, and there are sub-committee leaders, and there are the helpers. In the marriage God is the leader, President, and CEO; the husband is the head sub-committee leader, the Vice President, the supervisor of the committees; the wife is also a sub-committee leader, and a supervisor. It is good to sit down together and actually plan out who is going to lead which areas of the life before getting married. If you didn't, that's okay, now is as good a time as any!

Order of business number one is to both agree that you will refer all decisions to God. Sometimes this means praying together, sometimes seperately and reporting back. What we must remember, especially when trying to make a large decision such as moving to another state, or whether or not to homeschool your kids, is that both you and your spouse are trying to decern what is best for your family. There should be love, respect, and open ears. It IS okay not to make a large decision in one talking session!

Husbands have the directive from Paul  in Ephesians 5:21-33 "to love your wives as Christ has loved you." This should be your thought as you make the final decision in any matter, big or small. Out of love springs respect and compassion. Remember a leaders foremost concern is the well-being and personal growth of those he is in charge of. A great leader listens well to those around him and seeks guidence from above. A great leader also knows his own strengths and weaknesses, and also of the other is his group so he can best determine who is sub-committee leaders in the different areas. Some big committee's in a marriage include prayers and prayer times, purchases, bill payment, meals, home maintenence, and the daily care and education of the children. These may be govern by you, or deligated to your wife depending on her strengths and weaknesses and yours. Some you may wish to work together on. My husband and I work together on prayer times, and purchases. We both determined which prayers are important to us on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis; and have implemented them. We say grace before every meal, and bedtime prayers as a family. We each try to say a rosary a day. I also say morning prayers with the children, and the Divine Mercy chaplet in the afternoon. My husband also leads different prayers through the months and seasons in our home; including one in the car before we take a trip together. The children especially like these. We also work together on home maintenance. I do the daily cleaning and organizing, and he does lawn care and repairs. He has also deligated a few items to me; such as bill payment, meals and daily care of the children. Some of these items will naturally flow to committees on their own without much thought and discussion, however, if you do not discuss with your wife that you expect her to keep the house clean, she may become resentful that it always falls on her shoulders. If she knows that this is a job you would like for her to do for the betterment of the marriage she will more gladly take the roll. Husband: pray for your wives daily that they may grow in love for God, and have the strength and knowledge to deal with the dealings of the day.

Wives; know that Jesus put men in charge of the marriage to reflect the order of Heaven on earth. Jesus is the bridegroom in the marriage of Christ and the Church, and the Church is his spouse as you are your husbands. Love your husband, treat him with dignity and respect as a loving leader of his family, and as provider for you and your children. Do this, and he will love you, and treat you lovingly and with respect. Care for his home and children as you would for Jesus himself. It is the little things that we women are so great at seeing, and it is the little things that husband's miss seeing, but sense; and when we care for these it gives them peace. One of the best pieces of advice that my mother gave me was to clear a path through the living room, and wash the kids' hands and faces before your husband gets home from work. Also, teach your children to stop what they are doing for a minute and greet their dad when he comes in the door. This will create a haven that he will want to flock too after a long day of dealing with the world. Another important thing to know is what bugs your husband the most. On days when you or the kids are sick, or there just happens to be 5 events in one day, know what one or two things that your husband puts as most important to be done when he gets home. For my husband, it is to have the bed made. Wives: Pray for your husbands daily, that they may grow in love of God, and have the strength and knowledge to deal with the dealings of the day.

Each sub committee in the marriage can also include the children as they reach different ages. They are perfect opportunities to teach them discipline, character, and value as they help with younger siblings, doing household chores, and even balancing a checkbook and shopping prudently. Give them the advice you have from your experiences and your situation, and they will remember when they are husbands and wives.

It was a long day today. Had to run errands to get ready for my son's second birthday tomorrow, and get some bills paid, stopped at a couple garage sales, and even hung around outside playing with the kids. Spring is finally here in the upper midwest and I am itching for some fresh air. The trees are showing some buds. It always amazes me how the world is ordered to toward God. The world reflects Him everywhere we look. That is, if we take the time to look and see. My schedule is about to get hectic with all the end of the school year events and all the birthday's, celebrations, and plans being made. Today I sat back and reflected on the why's in my to-do list; though not all of my list was accomplished. it is good to know the why of what you are doing. What goal are you reaching for; what are you making your priority, what are you reflecting to others as your values, what are you teaching your children by your actions. It is either in Deuteronomy or Leviticus, it escapes me right now; but there is a line that says "Talk with your children in the morning, in the noon, and in the evening, about the way they should go, and when they are old they will follow." I get from this that it is quantity, not quality time that people and children need to truly know and understand the lessons that you are teaching them. Through quantity, you get quality; especially at the swingsets..

The Priorities of Marriage

Today I shall list the priorities of someone who is married. They are in order of importance. Without your priorities in the right order of importance, how can you work TOWARD anything. You just wander aimously through life, never growing any deeper in any area of your life that you hold in any value.

A Husband's Priorities:
1. God
2. Wife
3. Children
4. Job
5. Community


A Wife's Priorities:
1. God
2. Husband
3. Children
4. Home
5. Community

Notice that there are two seperate and different lists. Though they are very similar, they are also very different. Men and women, husbands and wives have different priorities because they are different, and they hold different roles in the relationship. They are equal in value and importance; but they are, and must remain different to be a partnership. If husbands and wives try to hold the same roles then it becomes a competition with no one ever having a chance of winning. But, if they both have a set of priorities that work together to make a bigger whole, then it is a complimintary partnership. Just like God is a trinity, our families are trinities. God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; we have Husbands, Wives, Children. Each partner in the Trinity are the same entity, yet play different roles in the creation and salvation of creatures; each person in the marriage and family are the same entity, yet play different roles in the building and salvation of souls.

Husbands and Wives should both put God first in their lives. Prayer, worship, and growing towards a closer union with God should be everyone's number one priority in their day. Without this, you are not in the right place to share anything with anyone, complete anything to the best of your ability, or help anyone else. The goal of life is to be granted a place in eternity WITH God. You may only earn this through God's Mercy, and God's Mercy is granted to those who ask for it. The closer relationship you have with God, the better the chances you have of asking Jesus for that Mercy. Husbands and wives are also accountable to God for each other's souls. Not only should you be building your own relationship with God, but you must be helping and encouraging your spouse to do the same. It is the top priority of your marriage vocation. This leads to priority number two.

Your spouse. Marriage is a vocation for life. Children grow up and leave home; family members move away, jobs come and go, houses come and go. Marriage is what we want standing in the end. Our marriage is our life. Just as the religious men and women in the monestaries and convents let their religious vocations guide where they live, the people they live with, and the jobs they do; we should allow our marriages to lead us the same.

Children: Having children is the fruit of marriage. God brings them forth from your love of one another. According to the Catholic church married couples must be open to new life unless there is grave reasons not to. A grave reason is the mother's health when there are still young children at home who need her. Your annual income, and the number of bedrooms in your home are NOT grave reasons to not have children. Note also, that your children are not the number one priority in your life. They may take up the majority of hours in your day, but their every need, want, desire, and ideal schedule is not the number one priority. God is. And teaching them to love, honor and obey God is priority over sports games and dare I even say, Girl Scouts! And that is the goal of Parenting. To raise children who love, honor, and obey God; to produce souls for God in Heaven. Just like us, their ulimate goal should be a place in eternity.

Your job is next. A husband's job is to work and make money to provide a roof for his wife and children, and food for their tummies. A wife's job is to maintain that house and food to make best use of it for her husband and children. You read that right. I believe women should stay home, and men should work. This is the heart of their partnership. A major part of the building of trust, respect and love in the marriage. The wife must trust that her husband will be able to provide for their needs, and the husband must trust that his wife will not squander their money and resources. Here also, is where a lot of marriages break down. They put job and priority number one, and from there all crumbles. There are exceptions to this. When my husband's business failed I had to help him provide food and clothing for our at the time three very small children. I used the resources available. I sold items we no longer needed, and others we could easily do without. I re-evaluated the way in which, and where we spent our money to more economical ways. I also took a small job as the manager for the income based housing in our town. This was a small job that gave us monthly grocery money, and that I was able to do from our computer at home.

Your community. Loving and serving your neighbors is commandment number 2 according to Jesus.

Matthew 22: 37-39   He said to them, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments."

We can not sit by or close in on ourselves that we do not see or serve those around us. It is the duty and privilage of all Christians, not only to resepect and care for our immediate neighbors to the left and right of our own homes. It is also to help and serve those in our circle of relationships, parishes, businesses, schools, towns, state and county, and the world. God gave all of us special talents and abilities and we are to use these to better the world and spread his message. For a start, and so as not to hinder your time and ability to keep the other four priorities above this one; choose one committe from your parish, and one committe from your job, your kids' school, or town to join. Pray before you act, asking God to guide you to the right committee and the right place in that committee.

I plan to expand on all these a little further, but looking back over it, I believe it to be a good introduction to these areas of focus. Somebody with a strong background in the Catechesis may have some suggestions, comments, please feel free to comment these, they will all be read with a loving eye!

God Instituted Marriage

Genesis 2:20-24

"The man gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none proved to be the suitable partner for the man. So the Lord God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, he took out one of his ribs and closed up it's place with flesh. The Lord God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man. When he brought her to the man, the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; This one shall be called 'woman,' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken." That is why man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them shall become one body."

Men and women were created to be partners. Partners not only in cooperating with God to create new life, but to be partners on their journey through life. Husbands and wives are responsible for helping each other to determine the truth, follow the commandments, determine the right path in the situations, for growing closer to God, and ultimately for the sanctification of each other's souls. This is a tall order that should not be entered into lightly, hence the creation of the marriage vocation. It is a lifetime commitment, for richer or poorer, sickeness and health.

God knew it was not good for man to be alone. That we need each other, and especially a partner who we can trust not only to keep us company, or to serve us, but above all to help us achieve. He knew this so well that he even provided it for His own Son. God did not need Joseph to bring Jesus to the world. But He knew that Mary, great that she was, would need Joseph to help her to raise Jesus, and to grow to become the woman who was able to watch her son be beaten and crucified, and to become Queen of Heaven. Mary and Joseph both filled different, but equally important roles in their union. It was a hard time when Joseph obeyed the Angel and took Mary into his home as his wife, even in her condition. It was a decision of love, to love.

This requires a high degree of love. Love is what will bind you together in the hard times as well as the good times. Without love the good times are bad, and the bad times are hell. We must remember that love is not only a feeling, but it is a choice. We can choose to love our spouse, just as we choose to love God and follow Jesus. Jesus gave us the commandment to love, saying it is the greatest commandment. We are to love one another as Jesus loves his bride, the Church, and Jesus loves the Church more than we can fathom; and He has loved her through good times and bad throughout history.

Throughout the Old Testmant God had a high regard for the marriage covenant. And in almost all stories it is through or in marriage that God fulfilled his promises, and guided people down the right path. God promised Abraham decendents as numerous as the stars in the Heaven. Abraham knew his wife was barren. Did he abandon her saying, God has promised me children, therefore has verified my right to break our marriage covenent? No. He stuck with his partner through the hard times, and then was rewarded with Issac.

The book of Tobit (a personal favorite!) is not only a guide on how to choose a good spouse, but is a beautiful outline of what marriage means and takes. Take the time to re-read this short book.