Ways to Keep God First

It is all very good and well to say that God is your top priority, but is He truly? Sometimes we have to take some time to do an examination of conscience, and take an honest look deep within ourselves. Some time in a quiet place to look at our weaknesses and strengths, which virtues do we need to work on, which sins have a hold of us, where and how we spend this precious time that God has given us, and what goals are we striving towards. It may take more than an afternoon. I have often times spent weeks and up to a month working on this on occasion. It is good to do this at least once a year, or those times in your life when you feel nothing you do is right, may be a sign that you are the problem, not others. I am going to call these "tips" because they do not have to be done in any certain order, you can start all today, or do one at a time; and there is no time frame for "completing" them. They are tips for things that should be integrated into your daily life, and become a part of you, not something checked off a to do list, and then move on with your life.

As Catholics we have a perfect way to help keep us centered on this examination and keeping God first; the sacrament of Reconciliation, confession. The more often that you go, and the more honest that you are in confession, the closer you come to Jesus. Remember that it is Jesus speaking to you in the confessional, He is just using a priest to speak through. It is good to look for a spiritual director, if you are lucky enough to have more than once priest at your Parish, go to all, and see which one fits with you, and who understands you, who you can have open discussions with. Though it doesn't have to be a Priest at all; it can be anyone who you trust to be honest with you, and who holds your eternal salvation as a high priority, who wants to see you achieve Sainthood! It can be your spouse, parent, sibling, friend. Pray for a spiritual director, and Jesus will point one out to you. He did for me, and for many Saints that I have read about who searched for a spiritual director as well. St. Faustina Kowalska was granted a vision of the priest who was to be her spiritual director so clearly that when she met him at a retreat, she recognized him from afar, and thanked Jesus. Receiving reconciliation and speaking with a director will help you keep your weaknesses, strengths, virtues, and temperaments pointed toward eternity with God. If you do not have a spiritual director start praying and your search today. Eternal salvation is more important than today's game!

The second item that will help keep God the top priority is prayer. Go so far as to make a list of the prayers that you would ideally want to pray on a daily, weekly, monthly and seasonal basis. Then start putting them into your schedule. It is okay to add one at a time. You don't want to burn out, you want to grow into this life. The more you say prayers, the more you will know God, therefore the more you will talk to God, and the more He will become the most important person in your world. God wants us to pray to Him constantly. He wants our whole lives to be a prayer. Most of us have daily planners or at least a to do list. Add your prayers to this list. Trust me, it is okay! It will help you keep focused on them while they are becoming habits. We all have habits, good ones and bad ones. It is easier for the bad ones to sneak in before you realize what is happening. We have to work on the good habits! My daily prayers are Morning offering, grace before each meal, a rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet, and bedtime prayers. I also love to pray openly, having simple conversations with Jesus while I am washing the dishes, or scrubbing the bathroom, or driving down the road. If you miss a scheduled prayer, stop and do it as soon as you realize it, but before you start, apologize to God, this will help keep you accountable as to what is your top priority, and with God as number one priority in our lives, most of our day should be in prayer. Other prayers that can be special non-daily ones are prayers to Saints on their feasts, and when you need their help. I like to say the Litany of Humility, and the Divine Mercy Novena, and my husband or I attend Holy Hour for Life once a month. Search for prayers, and devotions that pertain to your journey, and start to implement those into your life. Another way to pray is to offer things to God. Offer your pain both physically and mentally to Jesus in reparation for past sins, for the sins of others, or for intentions such as an end to abortion, or to help someone who is in purgatory. You can also offer a chore you do not want to perform, or a conversation with someone that is difficult. This is a way to make your life a prayer.

Another way to keep God as number one is to attend mass at least once a week; daily if possible. Mass is offered daily at every Catholic church, surly there is a time that you can make. Though I like to watch daily mass on EWTN because it is hard to keep my toddlers still in the pew. Though it may not be commonly talked about, but missing mass on Sunday is a sin, unless you are ill, attending to someone who is ill, or if there is no mass in your area.You must confess missing mass in confession. Attend all Holy days of obligations, and feasts that are important to you and your family. We love all the masses of Holy Week.

Another tip is to read spiritual books. Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, read about the Saints, read the Saints writings, read the Encyclicals of the Pope, and past Popes. I like to spend spend 15-30 minutes in the morning before the kids get up reading, or on a rainy day when the kids are watching a movie, sit and read something. Also, read the Bible daily. Even if it is just the four daily mass readings, or one chapter, or even a couple of verses of a chapter. Ignorance of the scriptures is ignorance of God. This doesn't mean that you have to memorize it, though there will be lines that you will memorize just because you love them and they mean something to you! They also make all these onto cd's that you can listen to in your car. My husband likes to do this since his job is driving, and he has a 80 mile commute back and forth every day.

Another tip is to keep pictures and statues and crucifix's around our homes. When you look up from the TV or computer, and see Jesus or Mary or a Saint staring at you, you will think of God; you may even turn off what you are doing! My husband and I have almost achieved putting a crucifix in every room of our home. This was my husbands idea, and truly the kids love it as well. One of my sons always likes to know where Jesus is!

Another tip is to work on improving your virtues. Know what the deadly sins are, and what the different virtues are. Then know yourself and which ones you need to work on. Jesus will help you, and He will bless your efforts. Apologize when you fail, and just try harder next time. Remember not all Saints were born saints. Most of them had to work hard to achieve sainthood, as most of us souls will have to do. For encouragement I recommend Confessions by St. Augustine, and read about St. Francis of Assisi. Benjamin Franklin was known to carry a small pad of paper where he would keep a tally of his failures in virtues and sins; so that he could better know himself.

Another tip is to learn the Church's position on social and political issues, so that you are not lead blindly into mortal sin. The truth is the truth, and a lie is a lie, no matter how many people believe a truth is a lie and a lie is a truth. Earth is a spiritual battleground between God and Satan; this is a truth, don't let anyone tell you any different. And if you are not fighting WITH God, you are against Him. Find a cause that means something to you, or one that God is pointing to you, and then help spread the truth, and work towards it's distruction.

Through these, you will grow closer to Jesus, and you will succeed at keeping God truly as your top priority. You will be able to hear Jesus voice clearer and be able to discern what is right and wrong, and what He is calling you to do with this life He has given you, and you will clearly see the path that He has laid before you on your journey to Heaven. And you will be equipped to help your spouse, and your children along their path as well.

Your Marriage & Your Community

As followers of Christ we are called to proclaim and teach the world about Christ and the amazing miracles of who He is, and what He has done for us. We are baptised sons and daughters of God; we are confirmed soldiers of God in the spirtual battle of good and evil; and we recieve the Holy Eucharist and Reconciliation for our strength. My personal view is to leave the Bible thumping to the Protestants, and for us Catholics to lead by example. Just like the children's song "They will know we are Christians by our..", they will know we are Catholics by our lives.

But how does this apply to your marriage? In this destructive age that we are living in, a society that is trying to murder God's children, and marriage itself, it is even more important than ever that TRUE marriage is displayed as an awe inspiring goal for the rest of society. Your true Catholic marriage is a light shinning in these dark times. To participate in the community as a family, you are showing the people on the streets how important marriage and family is, and what a marriage can accomplish. What a real marriage, between one man and one woman, was meant to be by God. You may not be shouting it from the rooftops, but the average person or child passing by, or being helped by you, will see your example, and will not forget it. By sticking together through the hard times, and the good; by our morals and ethics shown through our actions, priorities, and children's behavior; by our inner joy and peace that will shine through us while we are living our lives according to the Catholic doctrine, and trusting in Jesus;  being available to help and serve God through our participation with our neighbors and communities.

Choose activities that you can do together as a unit. Participate in community events and games, join and/or volunteer at local organizations such as your local Pro-Life group, Ministry Center, school Parent-Teacher organizations, Boy and Girl Scout troops, Habitat for Humanity, Relay For Life, etc. The key is to learn what your talents are individually and together and then search for groups and activites that suite your God given talents and gifts; and then get the whole family involved.

We are also called to love our neighbors, and we can show this love by volunteering in our communities with our time and money. Be the neighbor that your community can count on. I must also warn here, not to take on too much. Pray before you start anything, and ask whether this is something that Jesus wants you to spend your time on. We are all given different gifts, and so not everything is suited for everyone. Also, remember your list of priorities, and if your community participation starts to take priority over your top 4, then you need to step back and take a good look at what you are doing, and if you need to cut back, or delegate more out. One or two Parish committees, and one or two community organizations are plenty. More or less, depending on what position you take within these groups, and your family size and age, and your job demands.

The Partnership of Marriage

In every partnership there is a leader, and there are sub-committee leaders, and there are the helpers. In the marriage God is the leader, President, and CEO; the husband is the head sub-committee leader, the Vice President, the supervisor of the committees; the wife is also a sub-committee leader, and a supervisor. It is good to sit down together and actually plan out who is going to lead which areas of the life before getting married. If you didn't, that's okay, now is as good a time as any!

Order of business number one is to both agree that you will refer all decisions to God. Sometimes this means praying together, sometimes seperately and reporting back. What we must remember, especially when trying to make a large decision such as moving to another state, or whether or not to homeschool your kids, is that both you and your spouse are trying to decern what is best for your family. There should be love, respect, and open ears. It IS okay not to make a large decision in one talking session!

Husbands have the directive from Paul  in Ephesians 5:21-33 "to love your wives as Christ has loved you." This should be your thought as you make the final decision in any matter, big or small. Out of love springs respect and compassion. Remember a leaders foremost concern is the well-being and personal growth of those he is in charge of. A great leader listens well to those around him and seeks guidence from above. A great leader also knows his own strengths and weaknesses, and also of the other is his group so he can best determine who is sub-committee leaders in the different areas. Some big committee's in a marriage include prayers and prayer times, purchases, bill payment, meals, home maintenence, and the daily care and education of the children. These may be govern by you, or deligated to your wife depending on her strengths and weaknesses and yours. Some you may wish to work together on. My husband and I work together on prayer times, and purchases. We both determined which prayers are important to us on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis; and have implemented them. We say grace before every meal, and bedtime prayers as a family. We each try to say a rosary a day. I also say morning prayers with the children, and the Divine Mercy chaplet in the afternoon. My husband also leads different prayers through the months and seasons in our home; including one in the car before we take a trip together. The children especially like these. We also work together on home maintenance. I do the daily cleaning and organizing, and he does lawn care and repairs. He has also deligated a few items to me; such as bill payment, meals and daily care of the children. Some of these items will naturally flow to committees on their own without much thought and discussion, however, if you do not discuss with your wife that you expect her to keep the house clean, she may become resentful that it always falls on her shoulders. If she knows that this is a job you would like for her to do for the betterment of the marriage she will more gladly take the roll. Husband: pray for your wives daily that they may grow in love for God, and have the strength and knowledge to deal with the dealings of the day.

Wives; know that Jesus put men in charge of the marriage to reflect the order of Heaven on earth. Jesus is the bridegroom in the marriage of Christ and the Church, and the Church is his spouse as you are your husbands. Love your husband, treat him with dignity and respect as a loving leader of his family, and as provider for you and your children. Do this, and he will love you, and treat you lovingly and with respect. Care for his home and children as you would for Jesus himself. It is the little things that we women are so great at seeing, and it is the little things that husband's miss seeing, but sense; and when we care for these it gives them peace. One of the best pieces of advice that my mother gave me was to clear a path through the living room, and wash the kids' hands and faces before your husband gets home from work. Also, teach your children to stop what they are doing for a minute and greet their dad when he comes in the door. This will create a haven that he will want to flock too after a long day of dealing with the world. Another important thing to know is what bugs your husband the most. On days when you or the kids are sick, or there just happens to be 5 events in one day, know what one or two things that your husband puts as most important to be done when he gets home. For my husband, it is to have the bed made. Wives: Pray for your husbands daily, that they may grow in love of God, and have the strength and knowledge to deal with the dealings of the day.

Each sub committee in the marriage can also include the children as they reach different ages. They are perfect opportunities to teach them discipline, character, and value as they help with younger siblings, doing household chores, and even balancing a checkbook and shopping prudently. Give them the advice you have from your experiences and your situation, and they will remember when they are husbands and wives.

The Priorities of Marriage

Today I shall list the priorities of someone who is married. They are in order of importance. Without your priorities in the right order of importance, how can you work TOWARD anything. You just wander aimously through life, never growing any deeper in any area of your life that you hold in any value.

A Husband's Priorities:
1. God
2. Wife
3. Children
4. Job
5. Community


A Wife's Priorities:
1. God
2. Husband
3. Children
4. Home
5. Community

Notice that there are two seperate and different lists. Though they are very similar, they are also very different. Men and women, husbands and wives have different priorities because they are different, and they hold different roles in the relationship. They are equal in value and importance; but they are, and must remain different to be a partnership. If husbands and wives try to hold the same roles then it becomes a competition with no one ever having a chance of winning. But, if they both have a set of priorities that work together to make a bigger whole, then it is a complimintary partnership. Just like God is a trinity, our families are trinities. God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; we have Husbands, Wives, Children. Each partner in the Trinity are the same entity, yet play different roles in the creation and salvation of creatures; each person in the marriage and family are the same entity, yet play different roles in the building and salvation of souls.

Husbands and Wives should both put God first in their lives. Prayer, worship, and growing towards a closer union with God should be everyone's number one priority in their day. Without this, you are not in the right place to share anything with anyone, complete anything to the best of your ability, or help anyone else. The goal of life is to be granted a place in eternity WITH God. You may only earn this through God's Mercy, and God's Mercy is granted to those who ask for it. The closer relationship you have with God, the better the chances you have of asking Jesus for that Mercy. Husbands and wives are also accountable to God for each other's souls. Not only should you be building your own relationship with God, but you must be helping and encouraging your spouse to do the same. It is the top priority of your marriage vocation. This leads to priority number two.

Your spouse. Marriage is a vocation for life. Children grow up and leave home; family members move away, jobs come and go, houses come and go. Marriage is what we want standing in the end. Our marriage is our life. Just as the religious men and women in the monestaries and convents let their religious vocations guide where they live, the people they live with, and the jobs they do; we should allow our marriages to lead us the same.

Children: Having children is the fruit of marriage. God brings them forth from your love of one another. According to the Catholic church married couples must be open to new life unless there is grave reasons not to. A grave reason is the mother's health when there are still young children at home who need her. Your annual income, and the number of bedrooms in your home are NOT grave reasons to not have children. Note also, that your children are not the number one priority in your life. They may take up the majority of hours in your day, but their every need, want, desire, and ideal schedule is not the number one priority. God is. And teaching them to love, honor and obey God is priority over sports games and dare I even say, Girl Scouts! And that is the goal of Parenting. To raise children who love, honor, and obey God; to produce souls for God in Heaven. Just like us, their ulimate goal should be a place in eternity.

Your job is next. A husband's job is to work and make money to provide a roof for his wife and children, and food for their tummies. A wife's job is to maintain that house and food to make best use of it for her husband and children. You read that right. I believe women should stay home, and men should work. This is the heart of their partnership. A major part of the building of trust, respect and love in the marriage. The wife must trust that her husband will be able to provide for their needs, and the husband must trust that his wife will not squander their money and resources. Here also, is where a lot of marriages break down. They put job and priority number one, and from there all crumbles. There are exceptions to this. When my husband's business failed I had to help him provide food and clothing for our at the time three very small children. I used the resources available. I sold items we no longer needed, and others we could easily do without. I re-evaluated the way in which, and where we spent our money to more economical ways. I also took a small job as the manager for the income based housing in our town. This was a small job that gave us monthly grocery money, and that I was able to do from our computer at home.

Your community. Loving and serving your neighbors is commandment number 2 according to Jesus.

Matthew 22: 37-39   He said to them, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments."

We can not sit by or close in on ourselves that we do not see or serve those around us. It is the duty and privilage of all Christians, not only to resepect and care for our immediate neighbors to the left and right of our own homes. It is also to help and serve those in our circle of relationships, parishes, businesses, schools, towns, state and county, and the world. God gave all of us special talents and abilities and we are to use these to better the world and spread his message. For a start, and so as not to hinder your time and ability to keep the other four priorities above this one; choose one committe from your parish, and one committe from your job, your kids' school, or town to join. Pray before you act, asking God to guide you to the right committee and the right place in that committee.

I plan to expand on all these a little further, but looking back over it, I believe it to be a good introduction to these areas of focus. Somebody with a strong background in the Catechesis may have some suggestions, comments, please feel free to comment these, they will all be read with a loving eye!