Building a Rule of Life

Thinking about Mother Teresa's schedule with only 4 items, I quickly noticed that I had four priorities as well.. God, family, food, and rest. From here, I delved into the practical, monotonous, day by day of these priorities.

The first thing I did was set my wake up and bedtimes, this gave the day structure; not definition, but structure. Then we split the times into half hours from rising to bedtime.
Second I made a list of the prayers that I would like to say everyday, including scripture reading, and Bible reading, then I wrote those prayers at the times I would like to say them. Such as the Divine Mercy Chaplet at 3:00pm. Then I marked a one hour period for breakfast, another for lunch, and a two hour slot for dinner. To include prepare, eat, and clean up.

Then I made a list of what it means to care for my husband and kids on a daily basis. This I am labeling as my work towards my vocation. Taking the hint from Mother Teresa who has two separate times of day for her work, I split mine into household chores, and nurturing. Now to show my real perfectionist personality! I made a list of all the cleaning chores, from doing the dishes to planting the vegetable garden, and you will be surprised to know it fit on one page! Then I split these into daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly. I then generously estimated the time I thought it would take to do each of these items, though some were labeled 1 day, others, like cleaning the litter box, were labeled 1 minute. I found to my surprise that the Daily ones add up to one hour, and the weekly ones were 5 hours, thereby allowing for 2 hours of cleaning 5 days a week, I can keep my home organized and sanitary! I put 2 1/2 just to give myself the leeway of interruptions and unforeseen circumstances. I decided to add this to my mornings, to get them out of the way!


Then I made a list of the nurturing to be done. Reading with the kids, helping with homework, making after school snacks, playing outside, taking them to their events. This makes the rest of my day, which I saw to my amazement was an hour before lunch, and all afternoon.

So I decided to schedule in some Mom computer time!

Wakie, Wakie! Time to get up!

The first thing I noticed about Mother Teresa's schedule was the WAY early rise time! I usually hit snooze from 5:30 to 6:30, the absolute last minute that I can get up and still get the kids on the bus on time! So why is my alarm set an hour early you ask? Simply to have a pray and scripture time before I start the chaos of the day! No wonder things are so chaotic all day. First thing in the morning, I am neglecting my first priority! So.. I spent most of the day trying to come up with ways that I can get myself out of bed on time! (5:30, not 6:30). Since my husband is out the door to work by 4AM, having him wake me, is not an option, though it would be nice to talk to him in the mornings!

I started by asking myself what is different about the days that I do just jump right up and get going.

1. is days that I have something fun to do, or the kids have a soccer game, or we are going on a trip.
2. is days that I have a large to do list because we are having company
3. when I am staying somewhere else, my mom's, camping, hotel

"But" I told myself over some pots I was scrubbing, "in the morning, I get to have a conversation with God!" How much more important and exciting is that!! Perspective!  Let's hope that helps, especially now that I have it in writing! I was up at 6:40, this morning; had a kid in bed with me.

The second thing I noticed was how simple it was; wash, eat, pray, work. 4 items.. that's all.. not a page long to do list with each 15 minute period filled. 4 items. This is what it means to live the simple life. Notice also they pray, and receive Jesus before they start their day, and pray in the middle, and pray to end their day.. just like eating, you pray..

Let us all take some time today to sit down with our To Do Lists, and simplify, can you get yours down to 4 items? And maybe after I in the groove of a 5:30 rise time, I can then get up even earlier to see my husband before he leaves!

Reflections on Humility and Daily Chores

Humility is a hard thing to come by. We live in such a competitive society, that even in elementary school we are taught that we must be able to "sell" ourselves, verbally and non-verbally to employers, organizations, and even to potential spouses! What does it mean to be truly humble? Webster's dictionary defines it as 1. not proud or haughty 2. not pretentious, UNASSUMING 3. ranking low in a hierarchy or scale. So being humble is not doing something for the glory of self, or self recognition, or to be the best; but to do something for the benefit of someone else, and for the glory of God. St. Francis taught his brothers to look on everyone as if they were Jesus. With this in mind, they are servants to Jesus, in the lowest of jobs; the mundane, ordinary chores of life. as your folding laundry or packing a child's lunch, look on it as folding Jesus' laundry, and packing Jesus' lunch. Wouldn't you put a little more care and love into it?

A few thoughts that I had as I worked yesterday:

Reflections from the sink:

• A slow and steady stream in the middle temp range is best. You allow water to pool and soak the gunk for easier removal, and there is no splashing, and you are using less water overall. Giving us the lesson of the turtle "Slow and steady wins the race"  
• It is easier to remove a blob of ketchup off a plate 20 minutes after its use, then 10 hours after it's use, meaning, don't leave things for tomorrow, that could be done easier now.
• It is unwise to dump the greasy skillet into a sink full of glasses. Keep our priorities in order of importance, and do them in order!

 Reflections from laundry:

• Do not wash a new blue blazer with a pale pink dress, you end up with a mess. Do not say one thing, and do another.
• Doing 1-2 loads daily, is a lot easier than 12 in one day. Putting away each load as it comes out of the dryer, makes shorter work overall; less resorting in their destination, and lighter loads to carry up stairs. Do things as they come along, and you will have more free time in the end. 

Reflections from cleaning the kids rooms:

• Kids work harder when there are helping hands. Many hands make light work.
• Kids are less attached to their items, and are more charitable then we presume. Materialism and love of things and money, are learned, not inherent.

So I have learned that doing a little work everyday, in a slower and steadier state of mind makes less work overall, and more time for things I want to do. So I must slow down and not try to do everything, everyday, and for everyone. To do things in priority order and the important things will get done, making me calmer and a more comfortable and loving home.
My Priorities: God, husband, kids, home, work.

Today's meditations shall be on how to arrange my days to reflect my priorities in their proper place. Holly Pierot used Mother's Teresa's schedule for her order to help her make her Rule. Let's also look at Mother's and see what we can learn from it.

Daily Schedule for the Missionaries of Charity
4:30-5:00 Rise and get cleaned up
5:00-6:30 Prayers and Mass
6:30-8:00 Breakfast and cleanup
8:00-12:30 Work for the poor
12:30-2:30 Lunch and rest
2:30-3:00 Spiritual reading and meditation
3:00-3:15 Tea break
3:15-4:30 Adoration
4:30-7:30 Work for the poor
7:30-9:00 Dinner and clean up
9:00-9:45 Night prayers
9:45 Bedtime

Springtime

What a spring we are having! One of my favorite times of the year. Everything is warming and growing, and the senses are filled and renewed. The trees are budding, the bulbs are sprouting, and sun is shinning, and the kids are getting awnry! Springtime is such a renewal of the earth, and of the heart and soul towards God. It is so appropriate that Lent always falls during Spring!


I have been dwelling lately on my life, and the way that it is being led. One thing is for sure.. I am NOT okay with the thought that this is the life I am prepared to stand before God with. Things will change. With each new child I have screamed louder and harder about not being able to keep up with the daily/weekly/yearly household chores, having time to pray/read scripture, and teaching the kids the virtues that I want them to have as adults. I attempted a few years ago after reading Holly Pierot's  A Mother's Rule of Life to create a Rule. Though it has failed miserably, even after trying ever since to keep it. I went into it, wanting to make a schedule that I could keep, force on my family, and keep me happy and peaceful. I have not been happy or peaceful for years.


Last night we watched the old sixties movie of St. Francis, and saw him develop and defending his Rule has re inspired me not to give up on my Rule, but to restart with the right intentions. I have been doing research on the internet this morning, and have found lots of resources, guides, blogs on the subject. Good to see that I am not the only one who struggles with this concept of living life wisely, and well! Over the next few days I will be praying and developing my Rule, and shall share it with you. Hopefully my journey of Rule development, will help you with developing one for you.

Today I shall share with you part of the reflections of  St. Francis of Assisi's in developing his Rule.

The Way to Serve and Work
This is the chapter which is dedicated to Minority or Humility. It is expressed in our way of life and moving through the world. Therefore, any Service or Work should reflect our Franciscan spirit and identify us. To "live in conversion" not only supposes service to God but also to serve as "minors" in working for a better world.
  Francis based his idea of minority on the person of Jesus:

• who came to serve and not to be served.
• who chose to announce the Good News and peace to the poor.
• who adopted an attitude of humility and meekness..

This chapter gathers together the views of Francis about work and its purpose:

• to work so as to give an example.
• to avoid idleness.
• to provide for the needs of the Fraternity.
• to share the situation of ordinary people.
• to serve others.

18. Therefore, in deciding to say "yes" to a work or occupation, we see being able to work is a gift of God, to be done with fidelity and devotion, as a way of avoiding idleness and providing a service and a means of expressing our condition as poor people.
We are to refuse any work which smothers the spirit of prayer and devotion by not allowing space for prayer, which ends up in activism, and which does not reflect spiritual values or which is not in accord with our status as poor brothers and sisters.
19. We reflect and "preach" the value of minority or humility:

• in humbly accepting wages for the work done.
• in being satisfied with having the necessities of life.
• in remembering that we are servants of God and followers of holy poverty.
• in sharing with the poor what is not needed.
• in seeking to avoid power and authority and prosperity.
• in being servants ( repeated 5X in nos. 18 & 19 ).
• in being submissive to every human creature for the sake of God.

This vision of Francis agrees very well with the criteria expressed in Perfectae Caritatis 13 and in the new Code of Canon Law.
20. This article begins with a list of qualities, attitudes and behavior which makes those who practice them living witnesses of humility and thus believable witnesses of Franciscan peace. Francis wants his followers to be meek, modest and humble and proposes that they speak to all respectfully and speak whatever may seem useful. Wherever they go they are to avoid arguments, involvement in litigations, or in judging others.



I shall meditate on this passage as I do my dishes, laundry, and cleaning the kids rooms. To meditate as you work, you need to keep the music off, so you can hear yourself, and God.