As a parent our priority, after food, clothing, and shelter, is the education of our children. It is our responsibility to educate them, and form them into self-confident, self-reliable, virtuous adults who can take care of themselves, others, and the world.
For those of us who chose not to home school our kids, it can be easy to get into the habit of taking a backseat to their education, letting the teachers take the main role. This can be very detrimental. Teachers are very influential, as much if not more than their peers. What if their teacher one year has opposite priorities and beliefs as you?
The trick is to start early, even before they can walk and talk, they are influenced and affected by your actions, priorities and beliefs. You are their primary example by your actions. I will talk more of this in Part 2; for this part I will focus on academics and the school.
If you are in the habit of just making sure your 5th graders homework is done, it is not too late!
Start with the easy things:
- Talk around the dinner table about what your kids are learning in school, not just about their day. What subject are they studying in history, what concept are they working on in math, what book are they reading as a class. Asking more direct questions makes your child recall more about their day, and lessons the teacher taught then the open ended.. what did you do today? Usually this just gives you who did what at recess! This helps build self confidence that what they do matters to their parents, they are important. It also helps build memory and the ability to recall information.
- A second big thing you can do is make homework and grades a priority. Set expectations. For example in our house, we expect at least an 85 or higher in each subject on their report cards. Reward your child for their grades. My kids get a dollar for each A on a report card, each 100 on a test, and for any paper I determine has beautiful handwriting with no misspelled words. This gives them incentive to take things seriously, and to put in more effort on their own, building self-confidence, self-reliance, and a work ethic.
- Talk with your child's teacher once a month. Just a moment conversation while picking your kid up, a phone call, or after the PTA meeting will suffice. This does not need to be a full sit down parent teacher conversation. Simply ask three questions. How is my child doing with their work? Is there anything they are doing especially well, or anything they may need some extra help with? How is my kid getting along with the others? This also lets your kids know that their school lives, and education are important to you, and that you are willing to do what it takes to help them succeed. This also helps put your kid foremost in the teachers mind. Knowing that you are a parent that checks in, they pay more attention to what your kid is and is not doing, making your kid a priority to them. This is especially important when they are in larger classes and schools! (Taking Control of Your Child's Eduction; I don't recall who wrote it and what year, I just remember reading it!)
- Help your kid make a homework schedule. Get them a planner and show them how to fill it out, the more organized they are, the less late or last minute crises occur. Help make them a homework schedule. For example, if they have a spelling test every Friday, then the schedule could be write your words three times a piece Monday-Wednesday nights, and on Thursday night, give them a pre-test, and have them write the ones they missed three times a piece. Remember to include all subjects, and outside activities. They follow a schedule during the school day, so the habit of following a homework schedule comes easily to them. This also builds self-reliance and organizational skills.
- Make sure they have a good place to study. A clear kitchen table with a pencil box, or a full desk in their rooms. At our house each kid has their own drawer in a plastic storage cabinet to keep all their completed assignments, flashcards, and notebooks, etc.
A few more time consuming things to do:
- Check over your child's homework papers each night. Do they need to re-check a math problem, or do they have a misspelled word or bad punctuation on an essay. Be sure you are just a pre-grader, or editor, and you are not doing the work yourself. You don't need to know all the answers, though if you help enough, you'll catch on as well. I have even been known to make a kid re-write an entire assignments because the handwriting is so bad. If the teacher can't read it, they'll count it wrong!
- Help your child study for their upcoming test. Help them make flash cards, help them look up answers to study questions, drill them on their spelling words, help come up with mnemonic devices. Teachers always give at least a weekends notice to all tests. This is where the planner comes in real handy as well.. a little bit each night is better then cramming two hours the night before.
- Have your child read to you for at least 20 minutes a night. Either out of a textbook or another book they are reading. If your child can't read yet, read them at least three books a day. Also, let them see you reading for fun. Talk to your kids about the books they are reading, have them recap the story, ask them the main characters, who is their favorite character. Challenge them to read a non-fiction book each grading period.
- Attend all their events, and/or help out in their classrooms as room mothers, go on their field trips, attend all PTA meetings, volunteer at school events. This not only reinforces the fact to your child that their education is important, but it also makes you and your child stand out in the school. You become known as an involved parent to the other teachers as well. This also gives you insight into your child's school dynamic, and you get to know the other students as well. It is tradition that I volunteer for field day. It is so exciting to see all the other children's faces light up as you cheer for them, along with your own child.
- Nurture their interests and hobbies. Let them take those piano lessons or be on the soccer team. Cheer for them, help them practice; and when the going gets tough don't let them quit right away. Set a time that they must at least try their best. Make them finish the season, and just not play the next if it turns out to not be their thing. This lets them see first hand that quitters never succeed, and sometimes sticking it out, they will get better and not want to quit.
These things wont necessarily make your child a star A student, but it will cut down on the bad grades, and you will be able to see more clearly your kids strengths and weaknesses. It will be important not to condone the bad grades that do come home. You will have first hand knowledge that they put in the time and effort. It is an opportunity for your child to learn how to accept failure, and that they wont always be good at everything; in an environment that is out of the public eye, and loving and understanding. Making it easier to fail in more of a public way such as at a sports game or job, and still be able to carry on. Doing these things now will also help your child be more independent as they get into high school when you can take a step back and watch them continue on their own. They will also be more prepared to stand on their own at college.
This also goes for their religious education. Look at their CCD or Sunday School projects and papers, be a volunteer for them, volunteer to teach a class, look for ways to point out in everyday events what they are learning in Religion. Say their prayers with them. All holidays are religious, and have just become secularized. Bring back the religion in your home. Make a Happy Birthday Jesus banner instead of a Merry Christmas one, give lambs instead of rabbits for Easter, allow them to do advent calendars, and nativity sets. Take the time to look up the religious background to other holidays such as St. Patrick's Day, and Valentine's Day, and even Halloween. Help them make craft projects, print out coloring pages, read stories, make special traditions that go along with the religion behind the holiday.
