In every partnership there is a leader, and there are sub-committee leaders, and there are the helpers. In the marriage God is the leader, President, and CEO; the husband is the head sub-committee leader, the Vice President, the supervisor of the committees; the wife is also a sub-committee leader, and a supervisor. It is good to sit down together and actually plan out who is going to lead which areas of the life before getting married. If you didn't, that's okay, now is as good a time as any!
Order of business number one is to both agree that you will refer all decisions to God. Sometimes this means praying together, sometimes seperately and reporting back. What we must remember, especially when trying to make a large decision such as moving to another state, or whether or not to homeschool your kids, is that both you and your spouse are trying to decern what is best for your family. There should be love, respect, and open ears. It IS okay not to make a large decision in one talking session!
Husbands have the directive from Paul in Ephesians 5:21-33 "to love your wives as Christ has loved you." This should be your thought as you make the final decision in any matter, big or small. Out of love springs respect and compassion. Remember a leaders foremost concern is the well-being and personal growth of those he is in charge of. A great leader listens well to those around him and seeks guidence from above. A great leader also knows his own strengths and weaknesses, and also of the other is his group so he can best determine who is sub-committee leaders in the different areas. Some big committee's in a marriage include prayers and prayer times, purchases, bill payment, meals, home maintenence, and the daily care and education of the children. These may be govern by you, or deligated to your wife depending on her strengths and weaknesses and yours. Some you may wish to work together on. My husband and I work together on prayer times, and purchases. We both determined which prayers are important to us on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis; and have implemented them. We say grace before every meal, and bedtime prayers as a family. We each try to say a rosary a day. I also say morning prayers with the children, and the Divine Mercy chaplet in the afternoon. My husband also leads different prayers through the months and seasons in our home; including one in the car before we take a trip together. The children especially like these. We also work together on home maintenance. I do the daily cleaning and organizing, and he does lawn care and repairs. He has also deligated a few items to me; such as bill payment, meals and daily care of the children. Some of these items will naturally flow to committees on their own without much thought and discussion, however, if you do not discuss with your wife that you expect her to keep the house clean, she may become resentful that it always falls on her shoulders. If she knows that this is a job you would like for her to do for the betterment of the marriage she will more gladly take the roll. Husband: pray for your wives daily that they may grow in love for God, and have the strength and knowledge to deal with the dealings of the day.
Wives; know that Jesus put men in charge of the marriage to reflect the order of Heaven on earth. Jesus is the bridegroom in the marriage of Christ and the Church, and the Church is his spouse as you are your husbands. Love your husband, treat him with dignity and respect as a loving leader of his family, and as provider for you and your children. Do this, and he will love you, and treat you lovingly and with respect. Care for his home and children as you would for Jesus himself. It is the little things that we women are so great at seeing, and it is the little things that husband's miss seeing, but sense; and when we care for these it gives them peace. One of the best pieces of advice that my mother gave me was to clear a path through the living room, and wash the kids' hands and faces before your husband gets home from work. Also, teach your children to stop what they are doing for a minute and greet their dad when he comes in the door. This will create a haven that he will want to flock too after a long day of dealing with the world. Another important thing to know is what bugs your husband the most. On days when you or the kids are sick, or there just happens to be 5 events in one day, know what one or two things that your husband puts as most important to be done when he gets home. For my husband, it is to have the bed made. Wives: Pray for your husbands daily, that they may grow in love of God, and have the strength and knowledge to deal with the dealings of the day.
Each sub committee in the marriage can also include the children as they reach different ages. They are perfect opportunities to teach them discipline, character, and value as they help with younger siblings, doing household chores, and even balancing a checkbook and shopping prudently. Give them the advice you have from your experiences and your situation, and they will remember when they are husbands and wives.
Order of business number one is to both agree that you will refer all decisions to God. Sometimes this means praying together, sometimes seperately and reporting back. What we must remember, especially when trying to make a large decision such as moving to another state, or whether or not to homeschool your kids, is that both you and your spouse are trying to decern what is best for your family. There should be love, respect, and open ears. It IS okay not to make a large decision in one talking session!
Husbands have the directive from Paul in Ephesians 5:21-33 "to love your wives as Christ has loved you." This should be your thought as you make the final decision in any matter, big or small. Out of love springs respect and compassion. Remember a leaders foremost concern is the well-being and personal growth of those he is in charge of. A great leader listens well to those around him and seeks guidence from above. A great leader also knows his own strengths and weaknesses, and also of the other is his group so he can best determine who is sub-committee leaders in the different areas. Some big committee's in a marriage include prayers and prayer times, purchases, bill payment, meals, home maintenence, and the daily care and education of the children. These may be govern by you, or deligated to your wife depending on her strengths and weaknesses and yours. Some you may wish to work together on. My husband and I work together on prayer times, and purchases. We both determined which prayers are important to us on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis; and have implemented them. We say grace before every meal, and bedtime prayers as a family. We each try to say a rosary a day. I also say morning prayers with the children, and the Divine Mercy chaplet in the afternoon. My husband also leads different prayers through the months and seasons in our home; including one in the car before we take a trip together. The children especially like these. We also work together on home maintenance. I do the daily cleaning and organizing, and he does lawn care and repairs. He has also deligated a few items to me; such as bill payment, meals and daily care of the children. Some of these items will naturally flow to committees on their own without much thought and discussion, however, if you do not discuss with your wife that you expect her to keep the house clean, she may become resentful that it always falls on her shoulders. If she knows that this is a job you would like for her to do for the betterment of the marriage she will more gladly take the roll. Husband: pray for your wives daily that they may grow in love for God, and have the strength and knowledge to deal with the dealings of the day.
Wives; know that Jesus put men in charge of the marriage to reflect the order of Heaven on earth. Jesus is the bridegroom in the marriage of Christ and the Church, and the Church is his spouse as you are your husbands. Love your husband, treat him with dignity and respect as a loving leader of his family, and as provider for you and your children. Do this, and he will love you, and treat you lovingly and with respect. Care for his home and children as you would for Jesus himself. It is the little things that we women are so great at seeing, and it is the little things that husband's miss seeing, but sense; and when we care for these it gives them peace. One of the best pieces of advice that my mother gave me was to clear a path through the living room, and wash the kids' hands and faces before your husband gets home from work. Also, teach your children to stop what they are doing for a minute and greet their dad when he comes in the door. This will create a haven that he will want to flock too after a long day of dealing with the world. Another important thing to know is what bugs your husband the most. On days when you or the kids are sick, or there just happens to be 5 events in one day, know what one or two things that your husband puts as most important to be done when he gets home. For my husband, it is to have the bed made. Wives: Pray for your husbands daily, that they may grow in love of God, and have the strength and knowledge to deal with the dealings of the day.
Each sub committee in the marriage can also include the children as they reach different ages. They are perfect opportunities to teach them discipline, character, and value as they help with younger siblings, doing household chores, and even balancing a checkbook and shopping prudently. Give them the advice you have from your experiences and your situation, and they will remember when they are husbands and wives.
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