Reflections on Humility and Daily Chores

Humility is a hard thing to come by. We live in such a competitive society, that even in elementary school we are taught that we must be able to "sell" ourselves, verbally and non-verbally to employers, organizations, and even to potential spouses! What does it mean to be truly humble? Webster's dictionary defines it as 1. not proud or haughty 2. not pretentious, UNASSUMING 3. ranking low in a hierarchy or scale. So being humble is not doing something for the glory of self, or self recognition, or to be the best; but to do something for the benefit of someone else, and for the glory of God. St. Francis taught his brothers to look on everyone as if they were Jesus. With this in mind, they are servants to Jesus, in the lowest of jobs; the mundane, ordinary chores of life. as your folding laundry or packing a child's lunch, look on it as folding Jesus' laundry, and packing Jesus' lunch. Wouldn't you put a little more care and love into it?

A few thoughts that I had as I worked yesterday:

Reflections from the sink:

• A slow and steady stream in the middle temp range is best. You allow water to pool and soak the gunk for easier removal, and there is no splashing, and you are using less water overall. Giving us the lesson of the turtle "Slow and steady wins the race"  
• It is easier to remove a blob of ketchup off a plate 20 minutes after its use, then 10 hours after it's use, meaning, don't leave things for tomorrow, that could be done easier now.
• It is unwise to dump the greasy skillet into a sink full of glasses. Keep our priorities in order of importance, and do them in order!

 Reflections from laundry:

• Do not wash a new blue blazer with a pale pink dress, you end up with a mess. Do not say one thing, and do another.
• Doing 1-2 loads daily, is a lot easier than 12 in one day. Putting away each load as it comes out of the dryer, makes shorter work overall; less resorting in their destination, and lighter loads to carry up stairs. Do things as they come along, and you will have more free time in the end. 

Reflections from cleaning the kids rooms:

• Kids work harder when there are helping hands. Many hands make light work.
• Kids are less attached to their items, and are more charitable then we presume. Materialism and love of things and money, are learned, not inherent.

So I have learned that doing a little work everyday, in a slower and steadier state of mind makes less work overall, and more time for things I want to do. So I must slow down and not try to do everything, everyday, and for everyone. To do things in priority order and the important things will get done, making me calmer and a more comfortable and loving home.
My Priorities: God, husband, kids, home, work.

Today's meditations shall be on how to arrange my days to reflect my priorities in their proper place. Holly Pierot used Mother's Teresa's schedule for her order to help her make her Rule. Let's also look at Mother's and see what we can learn from it.

Daily Schedule for the Missionaries of Charity
4:30-5:00 Rise and get cleaned up
5:00-6:30 Prayers and Mass
6:30-8:00 Breakfast and cleanup
8:00-12:30 Work for the poor
12:30-2:30 Lunch and rest
2:30-3:00 Spiritual reading and meditation
3:00-3:15 Tea break
3:15-4:30 Adoration
4:30-7:30 Work for the poor
7:30-9:00 Dinner and clean up
9:00-9:45 Night prayers
9:45 Bedtime

Springtime

What a spring we are having! One of my favorite times of the year. Everything is warming and growing, and the senses are filled and renewed. The trees are budding, the bulbs are sprouting, and sun is shinning, and the kids are getting awnry! Springtime is such a renewal of the earth, and of the heart and soul towards God. It is so appropriate that Lent always falls during Spring!


I have been dwelling lately on my life, and the way that it is being led. One thing is for sure.. I am NOT okay with the thought that this is the life I am prepared to stand before God with. Things will change. With each new child I have screamed louder and harder about not being able to keep up with the daily/weekly/yearly household chores, having time to pray/read scripture, and teaching the kids the virtues that I want them to have as adults. I attempted a few years ago after reading Holly Pierot's  A Mother's Rule of Life to create a Rule. Though it has failed miserably, even after trying ever since to keep it. I went into it, wanting to make a schedule that I could keep, force on my family, and keep me happy and peaceful. I have not been happy or peaceful for years.


Last night we watched the old sixties movie of St. Francis, and saw him develop and defending his Rule has re inspired me not to give up on my Rule, but to restart with the right intentions. I have been doing research on the internet this morning, and have found lots of resources, guides, blogs on the subject. Good to see that I am not the only one who struggles with this concept of living life wisely, and well! Over the next few days I will be praying and developing my Rule, and shall share it with you. Hopefully my journey of Rule development, will help you with developing one for you.

Today I shall share with you part of the reflections of  St. Francis of Assisi's in developing his Rule.

The Way to Serve and Work
This is the chapter which is dedicated to Minority or Humility. It is expressed in our way of life and moving through the world. Therefore, any Service or Work should reflect our Franciscan spirit and identify us. To "live in conversion" not only supposes service to God but also to serve as "minors" in working for a better world.
  Francis based his idea of minority on the person of Jesus:

• who came to serve and not to be served.
• who chose to announce the Good News and peace to the poor.
• who adopted an attitude of humility and meekness..

This chapter gathers together the views of Francis about work and its purpose:

• to work so as to give an example.
• to avoid idleness.
• to provide for the needs of the Fraternity.
• to share the situation of ordinary people.
• to serve others.

18. Therefore, in deciding to say "yes" to a work or occupation, we see being able to work is a gift of God, to be done with fidelity and devotion, as a way of avoiding idleness and providing a service and a means of expressing our condition as poor people.
We are to refuse any work which smothers the spirit of prayer and devotion by not allowing space for prayer, which ends up in activism, and which does not reflect spiritual values or which is not in accord with our status as poor brothers and sisters.
19. We reflect and "preach" the value of minority or humility:

• in humbly accepting wages for the work done.
• in being satisfied with having the necessities of life.
• in remembering that we are servants of God and followers of holy poverty.
• in sharing with the poor what is not needed.
• in seeking to avoid power and authority and prosperity.
• in being servants ( repeated 5X in nos. 18 & 19 ).
• in being submissive to every human creature for the sake of God.

This vision of Francis agrees very well with the criteria expressed in Perfectae Caritatis 13 and in the new Code of Canon Law.
20. This article begins with a list of qualities, attitudes and behavior which makes those who practice them living witnesses of humility and thus believable witnesses of Franciscan peace. Francis wants his followers to be meek, modest and humble and proposes that they speak to all respectfully and speak whatever may seem useful. Wherever they go they are to avoid arguments, involvement in litigations, or in judging others.



I shall meditate on this passage as I do my dishes, laundry, and cleaning the kids rooms. To meditate as you work, you need to keep the music off, so you can hear yourself, and God.

Priorities For Our Children

This weekend I had a mother say to me that in high school all the children are expected to be in all the clubs and on all the sports teams at the school. She said in high school one of their classes is study hall, just to do their daily homework because they have activities from 7:30 am till 7-8pm at night! We live in a small town and the total population of our school, grades Pre-K thru 12th is 150. Am I the only person in the world that sees a problem with this?? She also had the audacity to make the statement that "several kids have tried to move into our school, but don't get into all the activities and are therefore completely excluded and friendless." Am I the only person that finds this completely insane!!?? And then people wonder what is happening to our country and morals! Her philosophy is that it looks good on a resume.

That is all well and good, however, what is the goal of life? To get a high paying position, title and wealth? Or is it to get into Heaven? To be an obedient servant of God's? To love God and your neighbor? Where in all this business. busyness and pushing for the top position is God? As parents, it is our responsibility to our children, and to God, to teach them the virtues and priorities to be successful in this life, AND THE NEXT! How are we to do this, if we don't even see our kids? Kids should be taught to TRY new things, but it is not expected of them to be the best in ALL things. We are all given special talents and abilities by God, and it takes time to discover and nurture these talents so that we can use them for God. In order to discover what your talents are, and what God is wanting from your life, you must have QUIET, STILL hours in the day. If we want our children to develop virtues and morals they need to spend more hours a week with people who are demonstrating these virtues and morals, and who are willing to listen and talk with them openly about these morals and virtues. Who are these people? THEIR PARENTS! Family time needs to be a priority on a DAILY basis. Remember.. it is quantity time that leads to quality time.

Do you honestly think that all these so called friends, who are by definition, trying to best you in clubs and sports, going to give you the loving guidance, support, and trust, that parents are supposed to? Nope.

Sports are supposed to be a fun way to play with our friends and get some exercise; they are not a definition of our lives. Clubs and organizations are supposed to help us develop the interests and talents that we have, and a way for us to serve our community using those talents; they are not there as a "who can do the most" contest. We can not do everything or anything ourselves. We are dependent on God. Our relationship with Him is the priority of our lives, and our children's. We develop this relationship by spending time with Him. God doesn't want us to do everything. He has a specific job for each of us, not ALL of the jobs, that is why we are communities of lots of people, each of whom as a special place and ability to help the community.

If we exclude and shun people who "don't keep up" will we recognize God if he knocks on our door?

Things to think about..  

Another Book Review: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom

I read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom by Amy Chou last week. I had heard a lot of discussion and controversy over it, and as a Mom who reads all the raising kids and discipline books I can find, I just had to read it. I am always on the hunt for ways to help my children become what I dream for them, and ways to give them the tools they will need to succeed in life.

I will admit that I believed her hypothesis before I even started "That Asian (Chinese) kids are harder working and more disciplined then Western (American) kids"; I went into it looking for pointers! It was a great read with a moving storyline and interesting situations. She was so brutally honest and open about how she was raising her daughters, the daily happenings, and how her family felt/dealt with it. It only took two evenings to read, which is a great length for busy mothers, another plus!
The way that she was successful at raising two high achieving daughters is that she pushed them to their best at all times, and was their mentor, spiritual director, teacher and coach. Though not a Christian, as I was reading, several Bible verses kept coming to mind. "Speak to your children of the way in the morning, in the noontime, and in the evening, and when they are old, they will not part from my ways." Along with several of the Proverbs that deal with working hard, patience and perseverance. If a child brought home even a B, they were given extra work and drills over the missed items. They were kept on a strict schedule of school work first, hobbies second, and those hobbies were chosen for them as toddlers (musical instruments). They were made to practice hours a day/weekend with lessons. Which brought to mind another saying that I often hear during the Olympics and while watching child prodigies "The more you practice, the easier you can makes things look!" She often told her daughters that they were better than B grades, and her daughters, as I believe all children would, believed it, and therefore learned to push themselves to higher levels, with her tutoring and encouraging; which brings me to another highly accepted parenting theory. That parents are the biggest influence on their children, and that all kids will imitate their parents spiritual and worldly virtues and morals from watching their example. The more time and effort parents put into forming their kids, the better the results they will see. Something that she was able to see with her second daughter. As a young teenager, her younger daughter quit the violin to persue tennis. While her mother disagreed with her decision, she was able to watch her daughter put into practice, on her own, the time, practice and commitment levels that she had pushed on her musically earlier in her life.

For this.. it takes more than an hour or two a day! Contrary to what several "experts" will tell you, it is quantity, not quality that counts when it comes to children; and failure on a child's part IS a reflection on the parents.

One point that I will disagree with Mrs. Chou on is the play dates and sleepover bans. Though I will say these should be a once/twice a year indulgences, not every weekend occurrences, they should be allowed to happen. These are opportunities for our children to put into practice on their own, the virtues and morals we have handed to them. We cannot completely protect our children from the world, and these small occurrences are circumstances for our children to make the right decisions on their own without us watching, they are also a glimpse of other peoples habits, virtues and morals, for our children to notice, and judge on.

I am recommending this book to all parents and grandparents. And as with all advice, take from this book that which will help you, and leave the rest.

Re-discovering Integrity

A wonderful article about teaching children integrity. As parents this is one of our most important tasks, next to teaching them to love God, love others, and to serve others; which is impossible without integrity. With integrity we achieve full responsibility for ourselves, high maturity, and virtuous lives.


Re-discovering Integrity

Spiritual Reading

I am finally reading Full of Grace by Johnnette Benkovic. We had to search and search for anything written by her. All our local bookstores and libraries don't stock books by any contemporary catholic authors it seems. Has been a challenge, and finally had to order it online. Guess that is purely a sign of the times. Seems more and more if you want something, you have to special order it, and have to pay with a credit card. So much for those of us trying to be smart with our money and not use credit cards! Oh well..

  As difficult as it may be to read a non fiction book with four kids and a husband running around, this one is worth it for women! She is so intelligent, insightful, and has a way of showing us how to incorporate God's teachings into our everyday lives. The goals and suggestions that she gives are doable! With women earning a prominent role in the modern world, and all the influence and power we seem to hold now, it is our responsibility to remember our true vocation given all women by God "To bring life into the world". Not only does this mean to have children, but to raise them well for God. But not only are we responsible for the spiritual bringing up of our children, but of ALL God's children that He places before us! She also outlines the virtues we need to nurture, the steps we need to take to create a deep prayer life, and practical ways we can live out this vocation in the course of our lives. She backs up all her premises with quotes from several different sources within the Catholic church, and personal encounters of her own. Remember your highlighter and pen each moment you get to sit with this book!


 Getting through a non-fiction book may take us a little longer, and we may have to re-read the same sentence 10 times, but they influence us to better ourselves and help us to grow closer to God. Give yourself a 15 minute period everyday to do this good. It will invigorate our minds like exercise does our bodies!

Back Up and Running

Our computer bit the dust a few weeks back, and we are finally up and running again! I was excited to see and hear about having other people who actually read this blog! Thanks Aunts! Now I will try to be more faithful to it. Been trying to get my house deep cleaned and organized for the start of the new school year. One more week! It is going well, and I am looking forward to some quieter mornings.

We have had some challenges the last couple of weeks, computer breaking, water pump out of Kevin's car, a couple other unexpected bills, and Kevin's Godfather passed away suddenly. It is harder in these times, it seems, to be faithful to God's will, and keeping him first when you have all these matters pressing in on you from all sides that seem to need to take a priority in your day. You can't let yourself slip from God as your center. He is your most important allie, and He gives us these challenges in hopes of drawing us closer to Him, and building our character. Like parents everywhere say "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!" Sufferings, even everyday ones, are graces from God. He only lets His closest friends suffer. How you choose to handle these sufferings, is the test. Will you give up and turn away into depression, or will you persevere, continue the fight and make God proud.