Celebrating the Birth of Christ

Advent and Christmas was a very busy and blessed time in our family this year, as I pray it was in yours! As the hustle and bustle and worry that we parents put ourselves through each season, it becomes hard to keep a calm home atmosphere, and a focus on Jesus through the season. Here is how our family celebrated; hopefully this will give you some ideas on how to keep your season focused on Christ, also!

Remember that it is the little things that kids remember the most. Think back to your own memories of Christmas, what is it that you remember the most? The big expensive presents, or the smell of the Christmas tree, or setting out the cookies for Santa? At the start of Advent, think about what memories you want your children to have as adults, and let this guide your decisions on what to include and what not to include in your celebrations.

1. We have an Advent wreath that we use as a centerpeice on our table, and we light the candles on Sunday nights at dinner.
2. Buy Jesus birthday presents first. Each year at Christmas Eve mass, the kids bring "Jesus" presents to donate to the local shelter or charity. I admit that this sometimes overlooked as my kids start their wish lists back closer to Halloween! But a goal!
3. Do a Jesse Tree instead of a traditional Advent Calendar. We made our out of construction paper and hung it on the wall when we took down our Thankfulness Tree. Here is a link to free coloring pages of the ornaments.
4. Don't put baby Jesus' statue in the Nativity set until Christmas Eve.
5. Let the 3 Wise men "travel" the house till Epiphany on their way to our Lord. I recommend using a cheaper Nativity set, as our good ones have lost fingers and fringes off their cloaks, from their travels. The kids love this! Every day the Wise men appear in different places throughout the house, and "arrive" at the Nativity set on Epiphany!
6. Celebrate St. Nicholas Day, December 6th. This year we celebrated by watching Veggie Tales St. Nicholas episode, and coloring pages of St. Nick dressed with mitre.
7. In honor of Jesus recieving three presents for Christmas, the kids also, each get three presents for Christmas. Plus Santa's present, plus grandparents, godparents, aunts & uncles, etc. It really cuts down on the greediness of the I want this, and I want this, and ooohh.. look at this! And makes them really look and contemplate what they truly want!
8. Have the kids help clean out the house, closets, toys, cabinets, and make a big donation to charity. This also helps prepare the house and their rooms for all their new presents!
9. Always carry change for the Salvation Army bell ringers when you go out.
10. Send a care package to a random soldier stationed oversees for the holidays. Here is a site that gives out addresses: AnySoldier 
11. Bake sugar cookies together as a family with Christmas music playing in the background. I must say, my husband really gets into this one! Even Frog can roll out dough with help and cut and sprinkle cookies, make it fun!
12. Participate in the Christmas celebration at your Parish.
13. Don't forget to write Thank you notes for the presents!

Thanksgiving Blessings

Even though it seems that there are not that many things to be thankful for right now, with the disappointing elections, all the soldiers overseas still fighting, and the general state of affairs in the US, we are still very blessed by God, and we found a great way to visualize this list, this year!

Thankfulness Tree 2012

This is the beginning of the tree, that we put together Sunday night, the kids have been adding a few more leaves each day as they think of new things, plus Turtle tought since we still have grass outside, the tree needed grass too, so there is green grass at the base. The blue circle is Frog's coconut falling from the tree. Can you tell that his favorite book is Chicka Chicka Boom Boom! 

I would have to say, that my favorite leaf so far, is the one that says "laughing with friends".  It is the simple things in life that count in the end, and it is through the simple things in life that God shows us how much he loves us. Let us not get so caught up in the busyness of the season, that we forget to be still and hear His voice.

Summer Schedule

Summer is in full swing at our house! We took a family vacation to Grandma and Grandpa's over 700 miles away. Left Pooka with them for another week. I think it was great for the little ones to get a little more of the attention! Now we are all home, rested, and ready to go!

To get the most out of our days, we have developed a routine, it keeps consistency, and makes going back to the school year a little easier!

We are starting with have breakfast done by 8:30 into a Daily Chores list. I took a printable I got from Mom's Tool Belt, a page that looks like it has a bunch of sticky notes all over it. I put one daily chore, such as litter box, empty dishwasher, etc. and each morning we each pick two, and have them done in 20 minutes! By 9-9:30 we start school. Yep, we keep going, just major downscale!

We start with Religion. This summer we are moving through the Old Testament Bible Stories. I am reading the story from my Bible, and they are doing a corresponding worksheet from DLTK's Growing Together. Next is academics, I love the Summer Bridging Series by Rainbow Bridging Publishing. Their workbooks are set up by Days, each day is a front back worksheet broken up into some math, English, Reading, Social Studies, even a Fitness challenge every other day, plus Bonus pages with science experiments and geography. The girls are both in Frontier Girls, so they work a little on a badge, or their Tall Flags each day, the Cat then spends at least one hour at piano practice while Pooka does her Latin lesson, and the Turtle reads me a book. Then they all read for one hours. By this time lunch is over, and they are free to finish any projects they have, play outside, or watch a preapproved TV show.  Bedtime for the kids is 9:30, and they are sent with a book to read. They can stay up late as long as they are reading, and that they get up on time in the morning!

The older three are in ball right now, ranging from T-ball to youth Softball, and this year I am even the assistant coach for the Machine Pitch team. After ball tournaments in a few weeks, then it will be a week or so until Swimming lessons start!

Time For A Change

Well.. it has been a long time since I last posted. Things have been pretty crazy, and I have been going through a small dark night of the soul! Losing our way for awhile is sometimes just what God uses to help us get stronger in the end. And also trying to keep up with a blog that seems so item and research specific with lots of children running around was taking its toll. So now my blog will be more about our family, traditions, and everyday life.. more musings, and more of me!

So things are lightening up around here. We made a major change in our home. Every weekend we would spend at least one whole day fighting and arguing about cleaning the kids rooms. Not that I have or want some grand model home to run our lives, but the fire hazard of the kids literally having to climb their way to their beds through all the toys and stuff week after week for the past eight years just got the better of me. During a conversation with my mom she said "You have lived this way how long? And every week you do this same thing, why do think things will just change?" So we changed the way we did things! All those years of threatening to throw all their toys away, we finally did! We grabbed black trash bags and boxes and loaded everything up and hauled it to the basement!

The kids were left their clothes and their books, with the opportunity to earn things back. Everyday they have the chance to earn back at least 4 items. Make their beds, pick up their clothes, close their dresser drawers and do their homework without complaint. The other chances they have, is to do a good deed for someone else. This one has been the big one. It is opening their eyes to the people around them, and they are searching for ways that can help! In one day Turtle had five good deeds!

This was a week and a half ago this happened. Before the week was out, the Cat made the comment that the family was so much better now! Her exact words were "everyone is so much nicer and calmer, and there is more time to play." Don't think they haven't been playing either, they have been playing harder, and together! For one, there is room TO play, they can FIND what they are looking for, and there are fewer chores with so much less to look after!

This last weekend, with a clean house, we turned our attention outside, and did the garage! It has been raining for two days and the kids' bikes, and dump trucks actually fit inside! Maybe we can make it through a summer without having to replace rusted chains and broken toys that were left in the yard for the dogs!

With company coming in a few weeks, 2 birthday's, Easter, a Confirmation and a 1st Communion all by April 15th.. I am looking forward to this year's Holiday Season!

Intermission

Sorry I haven't posted Part 2 of Taking Control of Your Child's Education. I have been spending my computer time putting together a second blog for my Frontier Girls Troop. Here is the link. Frontier Girls Troop 146. It is a faith based scouting organization for girls aged 3-18, that promotes patriotism, community service and character, taking into account that not only will these girls be future leaders, but also future wives and mothers! It is a fantastic program, and I encourage all mothers to look into it. It is geared towards Homeschoolers, families of all sizes, as well as church and school groups. Here is a link to the Frontier Girls Website to learn more. Frontier Girls

Taking Part in the Education of Our Children Part 1

As a parent our priority, after food, clothing, and shelter, is the education of our children. It is our responsibility to educate them, and form them into self-confident, self-reliable, virtuous adults who can take care of themselves, others, and the world.

For those of us who chose not to home school our kids, it can be easy to get into the habit of taking a backseat to their education, letting the teachers take the main role. This can be very detrimental. Teachers are very influential, as much if not more than their peers. What if their teacher one year has opposite priorities and beliefs as you?

The trick is to start early, even before they can walk and talk, they are influenced and affected by your actions, priorities and beliefs. You are their primary example by your actions. I will talk more of this in Part 2; for this part I will focus on academics and the school.

If you are in the habit of just making sure your 5th graders homework is done, it is not too late!

Start with the easy things:

1.  Talk around the dinner table about what your kids are learning in school, not just about their day. What subject are they studying in history, what concept are they working on in math, what book are they reading as a class. Asking more direct questions makes your child recall more about their day, and lessons the teacher taught then the open ended.. what did you do today? Usually this just gives you who did what at recess! This helps build self confidence that what they do matters to their parents, they are important. It also helps build memory and the ability to recall information. 
2. A second big thing you can do is make homework and grades a priority. Set expectations. For example in our house, we expect at least an 85 or higher in each subject on their report cards. Reward your child for their grades. My kids get a dollar for each A on a report card, each 100 on a test, and for any paper I determine has beautiful handwriting with no misspelled words. This gives them incentive to take things seriously, and to put in more effort on their own, building self-confidence, self-reliance, and a work ethic.
3. Talk with your child's teacher once a month. Just a moment conversation while picking your kid up, a phone call, or after the PTA meeting will suffice. This does not need to be a full sit down parent teacher conversation. Simply ask three questions. How is my child doing with their work? Is there anything they are doing especially well, or anything they may need some extra help with? How is my kid getting along with the others? This also lets your kids know that their school lives, and education are important to you, and that you are willing to do what it takes to help them succeed. This also helps put your kid foremost in the teachers mind. Knowing that you are a parent that checks in, they pay more attention to what your kid is and is not doing, making your kid a priority to them. This is especially important when they are in larger classes and schools! (Taking Control of Your Child's Eduction; I don't recall who wrote it and what year, I just remember reading it!)
4. Help your kid make a homework schedule. Get them a planner and show them how to fill it out, the more organized they are, the less late or last minute crises occur. Help make them a homework schedule. For example, if they have a spelling test every Friday, then the schedule could be write your words three times a piece Monday-Wednesday nights, and on Thursday night, give them a pre-test, and have them write the ones they missed three times a piece. Remember to include all subjects, and outside activities. They follow a schedule during the school day, so the habit of following a homework schedule comes easily to them. This also builds self-reliance and organizational skills.
5. Make sure they have a good place to study. A clear kitchen table with a pencil box, or a full desk in their rooms. At our house each kid has their own drawer in a plastic storage cabinet to keep all their completed assignments, flashcards, and notebooks, etc.

A few more time consuming things to do:

1. Check over your child's homework papers each night. Do they need to re-check a math problem, or do they have a misspelled word or bad punctuation on an essay. Be sure you are just a pre-grader, or editor, and you are not doing the work yourself. You don't need to know all the answers, though if you help enough, you'll catch on as well. I have even been known to make a kid re-write an entire assignments because the handwriting is so bad. If the teacher can't read it, they'll count it wrong!
2. Help your child study for their upcoming test. Help them make flash cards, help them look up answers to study questions, drill them on their spelling words, help come up with mnemonic devices. Teachers always give at least a weekends notice to all tests. This is where the planner comes in real handy as well.. a little bit each night is better then cramming two hours the night before.
3. Have your child read to you for at least 20 minutes a night. Either out of a textbook or another book they are reading. If your child can't read yet, read them at least three books a day. Also, let them see you reading for fun. Talk to your kids about the books they are reading, have them recap the story, ask them the main characters, who is their favorite character. Challenge them to read a non-fiction book each grading period.
4. Attend all their events, and/or help out in their classrooms as room mothers, go on their field trips, attend all PTA meetings, volunteer at school events. This not only reinforces the fact to your child that their education is important, but it also makes you and your child stand out in the school. You become known as an involved parent to the other teachers as well. This also gives you insight into your child's school dynamic, and you get to know the other students as well. It is tradition that I volunteer for field day. It is so exciting to see all the other children's faces light up as you cheer for them, along with your own child.
5. Nurture their interests and hobbies. Let them take those piano lessons or be on the soccer team. Cheer for them, help them practice; and when the going gets tough don't let them quit right away. Set a time that they must at least try their best. Make them finish the season, and just not play the next if it turns out to not be their thing. This lets them see first hand that quitters never succeed, and sometimes sticking it out, they will get better and not want to quit.

These things wont necessarily make your child a star A student, but it will cut down on the bad grades, and you will be able to see more clearly your kids strengths and weaknesses. It will be important not to condone the bad grades that do come home. You will have first hand knowledge that they put in the time and effort. It is an opportunity for your child to learn how to accept failure, and that they wont always be good at everything; in an environment that is out of the public eye, and loving and understanding. Making it easier to fail in more of a public way such as at a sports game or job, and still be able to carry on. Doing these things now will also help your child be more independent as they get into high school when you can take a step back and watch them continue on their own. They will also be more prepared to stand on their own at college.

This also goes for their religious education. Look at their CCD or Sunday School projects and papers, be a volunteer for them, volunteer to teach a class, look for ways to point out in everyday events what they are learning in Religion. Say their prayers with them. All holidays are religious, and have just become secularized. Bring back the religion in your home. Make a Happy Birthday Jesus banner instead of a Merry Christmas one, give lambs instead of rabbits for Easter, allow them to do advent calendars, and nativity sets. Take the time to look up the religious background to other holidays such as St. Patrick's Day, and Valentine's Day, and even Halloween. Help them make craft projects, print out coloring pages, read stories, make special traditions that go along with the religion behind the holiday.

What I have been doing..

Since I last blogged..
 
My oldest daughter started 5th grade, and also started song leading at church.
My younger daughter started 2nd grade
My oldest son started Bridging.. Pre-K AM, Kindergarten Afternoons.. he just wasn't quite ready for K!
My youngest son got potty trained!

We got a new puppy, GiGi, who is a Scottish Terrier/Schnauzer mix... NOT potty trained yet :)

We started Frontier Girls Troop #146, and actually have our first official meeting this afternoon, we had an informational meeting, and walked in the local parade, and ran a free-throw shot booth at a carnival as a fundraiser. I am so excited, this is a wonderful organization with badges like self-control, patience, etiquette! I am in the process of creating a blog for them as well.

I beacame the 4th grade CCD teacher at our Parish. We are learning the Act of Love, the 10 Commandments, and the Beatitudes. They are a lively bunch, who spark wonderful discussions! We are slowly making lapbooks titled God's Rules 4 Life with the beatitudes and commandments and examples of how to live each one; with the Act of Love, and the Great Commandment also.

We had a massive hail storm and were without power for three days, the insurance totalled both our vehicles, so I had to go van shopping, and now we are in the process of getting bids to re-roof the house, new air conditioner, and new siding, front door and screens. And the back mudroom was damaged from the roof leaking. The good that came out of it is I love my new van, we got to sleep at a hotel and go swimming, and we are getting rid of propane and getting an electric furnace! And I get to pick a new color for the house, and a pretty new front door. Thank God for insurance!

And my two daughters started piano lessons, so there is lively music in the house!

Thanks for reading, and I will try to post every Monday, unless I get into another project and need to post more :)

Girl Scouts of the USA

I have been shocked and saddened the past couple of days as things become more and more clear about the Girl Scouts involvement with Planned Parenthood, promoting to girls as young as 9 years old that being sexually active in any form is their right (including masturbation, homosexual and bisexual), as well as contraception and abortions. The Girl Scouts are re-organizing all their badges and award requirements, and I have been researching and studying, and viewing the websites the girls will be asked to view while earning these badges. It is completely appalling! and disgusting! They actually had the nerve to tell girls that masturbation, emergency contraception, and getting drunk and high is their "choice" to make, and it is okay if they choose that! One line in their new brochure says "being forced by law to reveal your HIV status is a violation of your rights, and your partner does not need to know". WHAT????

I would like to share with you a website I found by two very courageous, young, and profoundly insightful high school ladies who were girl scouts. They have very carefully have compiled the new badges and books by the GSUSA and share the links that they expect the girls to go to, and the background stories on these new "Girl Heroines" that GSUSA are promoting to girls as young as 5.  http://www.speaknowgirlscouts.com/

The new badge requirements, and the contents of the Journey books which are now required has made it impossible for me to continue with this organization. I am hoping to have my scouts join me in Frontier Girls or American Heritage Girls. But, all I can control is the part that I, and my family will play in this situation, and where my time and money will be used in the future.

Events like these will occur in our lives, how we respond to them, is what develops our morals and character, strength and leadership skill.

Summer Vacation

I am so excited today is the last day of school for the kids! We will be out of town for 9 days, so I wont be able to post, but I am praying for opportunity to make my blog more of a priority when we get home. The kids and I have big plans, they will be learning the piano, playing t-ball to softball, swimming lessons, nature hikes, the public library reading program and scavenger hunt, and growing lots of veggies and blueberries.

I am going to help them start My Binders. It is an idea that came to me while looking through some other blogs I love, namely Catholic Icing, Catholic Family, and The Catholic Toolbox. The idea with these is to have a large three ring binder divided into different sections of Prayers, Saints, Catechism, etc. and they can slowly add work and findings to them, so whenever they have time for prayer, or spiritual reading, they have a place to go. Hopefully this will also be a place to keep nice all their artwork and projects from CCD. And as soon as I learn how to download and post pictures, I will post some of their books! Another project I have for this glorious summer that is approaching!

What We Do All This For...

Here is a blog post I would like to share about God's love, and Heaven, and what it is like. Please take a moment to read it, it is not long. He is a profound writer!

http://leotrese.blogspot.com/2011/05/part-two.html

The Writing of a Rule of Life

I have been working more on our family's Rule of Life. The first part of the Rule should contain a Mission Statement. The why behind all that you do, and behind how you make your decisions, and structure your time and activities. We titled our Mission Statement:

Our Family Promise

 We are a family, and covenant community, brought together by God, for God. We will live by His commandments, and strive to allow ourselves to be perfected by Him, for Him. God wants us to be loving, kind, helpful, obedient, thoughtful, and wise in His ways. Accepting this, we have responsibilities towards each other to love one another, respect and encourage, forgive one another our faults, and to help each other to learn about, grow closer to, and learn to obey God.

 This is our priority as a family. To live this way we must be disciplined in our actions and thoughts, we must determine and energize ourselves to work together towards this goal set of values and virtues.

 We will show God love by putting Him first, and respecting Him. We will become wise through learning about our faith and Church, reading good books, watching good shows, and working on good community projects. We will accomplish this by obeying each other. When someone asks you to do something, picture Jesus asking you to do it for him. We will also pray together as a family, and if you can, individually. We will learn to be thoughtful, helpful and kind by working together and individually on chores, doing good deeds for each other, and others in the community. 

Then we go on to list our individual responsibilities.

Daddy: Is the spiritual leader, having final say in all religious matters, financial matters, and community activities. He will also work his job to the best of his ability, to financially support us, and our endeavors. He is also in charge of the outside chores, and major home repairs.

Mommy: Is the planner and organizer. She will cook meals, keep the house clean, organized, and laundry; do the shopping, and scheduling; and also keep track of the finances, all to the best of her abilities.

Kids:Will obey Dad and Mom in all their decisions, will maintain their belongings in an organized way, and do their schoolwork to the best of their ability.

I pray that by reading our statement, you will be inspired to work on your own.

Building a Rule of Life

Thinking about Mother Teresa's schedule with only 4 items, I quickly noticed that I had four priorities as well.. God, family, food, and rest. From here, I delved into the practical, monotonous, day by day of these priorities.

The first thing I did was set my wake up and bedtimes, this gave the day structure; not definition, but structure. Then we split the times into half hours from rising to bedtime.
Second I made a list of the prayers that I would like to say everyday, including scripture reading, and Bible reading, then I wrote those prayers at the times I would like to say them. Such as the Divine Mercy Chaplet at 3:00pm. Then I marked a one hour period for breakfast, another for lunch, and a two hour slot for dinner. To include prepare, eat, and clean up.

Then I made a list of what it means to care for my husband and kids on a daily basis. This I am labeling as my work towards my vocation. Taking the hint from Mother Teresa who has two separate times of day for her work, I split mine into household chores, and nurturing. Now to show my real perfectionist personality! I made a list of all the cleaning chores, from doing the dishes to planting the vegetable garden, and you will be surprised to know it fit on one page! Then I split these into daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly. I then generously estimated the time I thought it would take to do each of these items, though some were labeled 1 day, others, like cleaning the litter box, were labeled 1 minute. I found to my surprise that the Daily ones add up to one hour, and the weekly ones were 5 hours, thereby allowing for 2 hours of cleaning 5 days a week, I can keep my home organized and sanitary! I put 2 1/2 just to give myself the leeway of interruptions and unforeseen circumstances. I decided to add this to my mornings, to get them out of the way!


Then I made a list of the nurturing to be done. Reading with the kids, helping with homework, making after school snacks, playing outside, taking them to their events. This makes the rest of my day, which I saw to my amazement was an hour before lunch, and all afternoon.

So I decided to schedule in some Mom computer time!

Wakie, Wakie! Time to get up!

The first thing I noticed about Mother Teresa's schedule was the WAY early rise time! I usually hit snooze from 5:30 to 6:30, the absolute last minute that I can get up and still get the kids on the bus on time! So why is my alarm set an hour early you ask? Simply to have a pray and scripture time before I start the chaos of the day! No wonder things are so chaotic all day. First thing in the morning, I am neglecting my first priority! So.. I spent most of the day trying to come up with ways that I can get myself out of bed on time! (5:30, not 6:30). Since my husband is out the door to work by 4AM, having him wake me, is not an option, though it would be nice to talk to him in the mornings!

I started by asking myself what is different about the days that I do just jump right up and get going.

1. is days that I have something fun to do, or the kids have a soccer game, or we are going on a trip.
2. is days that I have a large to do list because we are having company
3. when I am staying somewhere else, my mom's, camping, hotel

"But" I told myself over some pots I was scrubbing, "in the morning, I get to have a conversation with God!" How much more important and exciting is that!! Perspective!  Let's hope that helps, especially now that I have it in writing! I was up at 6:40, this morning; had a kid in bed with me.

The second thing I noticed was how simple it was; wash, eat, pray, work. 4 items.. that's all.. not a page long to do list with each 15 minute period filled. 4 items. This is what it means to live the simple life. Notice also they pray, and receive Jesus before they start their day, and pray in the middle, and pray to end their day.. just like eating, you pray..

Let us all take some time today to sit down with our To Do Lists, and simplify, can you get yours down to 4 items? And maybe after I in the groove of a 5:30 rise time, I can then get up even earlier to see my husband before he leaves!

Reflections on Humility and Daily Chores

Humility is a hard thing to come by. We live in such a competitive society, that even in elementary school we are taught that we must be able to "sell" ourselves, verbally and non-verbally to employers, organizations, and even to potential spouses! What does it mean to be truly humble? Webster's dictionary defines it as 1. not proud or haughty 2. not pretentious, UNASSUMING 3. ranking low in a hierarchy or scale. So being humble is not doing something for the glory of self, or self recognition, or to be the best; but to do something for the benefit of someone else, and for the glory of God. St. Francis taught his brothers to look on everyone as if they were Jesus. With this in mind, they are servants to Jesus, in the lowest of jobs; the mundane, ordinary chores of life. as your folding laundry or packing a child's lunch, look on it as folding Jesus' laundry, and packing Jesus' lunch. Wouldn't you put a little more care and love into it?

A few thoughts that I had as I worked yesterday:

Reflections from the sink:

• A slow and steady stream in the middle temp range is best. You allow water to pool and soak the gunk for easier removal, and there is no splashing, and you are using less water overall. Giving us the lesson of the turtle "Slow and steady wins the race"  
• It is easier to remove a blob of ketchup off a plate 20 minutes after its use, then 10 hours after it's use, meaning, don't leave things for tomorrow, that could be done easier now.
• It is unwise to dump the greasy skillet into a sink full of glasses. Keep our priorities in order of importance, and do them in order!

 Reflections from laundry:

• Do not wash a new blue blazer with a pale pink dress, you end up with a mess. Do not say one thing, and do another.
• Doing 1-2 loads daily, is a lot easier than 12 in one day. Putting away each load as it comes out of the dryer, makes shorter work overall; less resorting in their destination, and lighter loads to carry up stairs. Do things as they come along, and you will have more free time in the end. 

Reflections from cleaning the kids rooms:

• Kids work harder when there are helping hands. Many hands make light work.
• Kids are less attached to their items, and are more charitable then we presume. Materialism and love of things and money, are learned, not inherent.

So I have learned that doing a little work everyday, in a slower and steadier state of mind makes less work overall, and more time for things I want to do. So I must slow down and not try to do everything, everyday, and for everyone. To do things in priority order and the important things will get done, making me calmer and a more comfortable and loving home.
My Priorities: God, husband, kids, home, work.

Today's meditations shall be on how to arrange my days to reflect my priorities in their proper place. Holly Pierot used Mother's Teresa's schedule for her order to help her make her Rule. Let's also look at Mother's and see what we can learn from it.

Daily Schedule for the Missionaries of Charity
4:30-5:00 Rise and get cleaned up
5:00-6:30 Prayers and Mass
6:30-8:00 Breakfast and cleanup
8:00-12:30 Work for the poor
12:30-2:30 Lunch and rest
2:30-3:00 Spiritual reading and meditation
3:00-3:15 Tea break
3:15-4:30 Adoration
4:30-7:30 Work for the poor
7:30-9:00 Dinner and clean up
9:00-9:45 Night prayers
9:45 Bedtime

Springtime

What a spring we are having! One of my favorite times of the year. Everything is warming and growing, and the senses are filled and renewed. The trees are budding, the bulbs are sprouting, and sun is shinning, and the kids are getting awnry! Springtime is such a renewal of the earth, and of the heart and soul towards God. It is so appropriate that Lent always falls during Spring!


I have been dwelling lately on my life, and the way that it is being led. One thing is for sure.. I am NOT okay with the thought that this is the life I am prepared to stand before God with. Things will change. With each new child I have screamed louder and harder about not being able to keep up with the daily/weekly/yearly household chores, having time to pray/read scripture, and teaching the kids the virtues that I want them to have as adults. I attempted a few years ago after reading Holly Pierot's  A Mother's Rule of Life to create a Rule. Though it has failed miserably, even after trying ever since to keep it. I went into it, wanting to make a schedule that I could keep, force on my family, and keep me happy and peaceful. I have not been happy or peaceful for years.


Last night we watched the old sixties movie of St. Francis, and saw him develop and defending his Rule has re inspired me not to give up on my Rule, but to restart with the right intentions. I have been doing research on the internet this morning, and have found lots of resources, guides, blogs on the subject. Good to see that I am not the only one who struggles with this concept of living life wisely, and well! Over the next few days I will be praying and developing my Rule, and shall share it with you. Hopefully my journey of Rule development, will help you with developing one for you.

Today I shall share with you part of the reflections of  St. Francis of Assisi's in developing his Rule.

The Way to Serve and Work
This is the chapter which is dedicated to Minority or Humility. It is expressed in our way of life and moving through the world. Therefore, any Service or Work should reflect our Franciscan spirit and identify us. To "live in conversion" not only supposes service to God but also to serve as "minors" in working for a better world.
  Francis based his idea of minority on the person of Jesus:

• who came to serve and not to be served.
• who chose to announce the Good News and peace to the poor.
• who adopted an attitude of humility and meekness..

This chapter gathers together the views of Francis about work and its purpose:

• to work so as to give an example.
• to avoid idleness.
• to provide for the needs of the Fraternity.
• to share the situation of ordinary people.
• to serve others.

18. Therefore, in deciding to say "yes" to a work or occupation, we see being able to work is a gift of God, to be done with fidelity and devotion, as a way of avoiding idleness and providing a service and a means of expressing our condition as poor people.
We are to refuse any work which smothers the spirit of prayer and devotion by not allowing space for prayer, which ends up in activism, and which does not reflect spiritual values or which is not in accord with our status as poor brothers and sisters.
19. We reflect and "preach" the value of minority or humility:

• in humbly accepting wages for the work done.
• in being satisfied with having the necessities of life.
• in remembering that we are servants of God and followers of holy poverty.
• in sharing with the poor what is not needed.
• in seeking to avoid power and authority and prosperity.
• in being servants ( repeated 5X in nos. 18 & 19 ).
• in being submissive to every human creature for the sake of God.

This vision of Francis agrees very well with the criteria expressed in Perfectae Caritatis 13 and in the new Code of Canon Law.
20. This article begins with a list of qualities, attitudes and behavior which makes those who practice them living witnesses of humility and thus believable witnesses of Franciscan peace. Francis wants his followers to be meek, modest and humble and proposes that they speak to all respectfully and speak whatever may seem useful. Wherever they go they are to avoid arguments, involvement in litigations, or in judging others.



I shall meditate on this passage as I do my dishes, laundry, and cleaning the kids rooms. To meditate as you work, you need to keep the music off, so you can hear yourself, and God.

Priorities For Our Children

This weekend I had a mother say to me that in high school all the children are expected to be in all the clubs and on all the sports teams at the school. She said in high school one of their classes is study hall, just to do their daily homework because they have activities from 7:30 am till 7-8pm at night! We live in a small town and the total population of our school, grades Pre-K thru 12th is 150. Am I the only person in the world that sees a problem with this?? She also had the audacity to make the statement that "several kids have tried to move into our school, but don't get into all the activities and are therefore completely excluded and friendless." Am I the only person that finds this completely insane!!?? And then people wonder what is happening to our country and morals! Her philosophy is that it looks good on a resume.

That is all well and good, however, what is the goal of life? To get a high paying position, title and wealth? Or is it to get into Heaven? To be an obedient servant of God's? To love God and your neighbor? Where in all this business. busyness and pushing for the top position is God? As parents, it is our responsibility to our children, and to God, to teach them the virtues and priorities to be successful in this life, AND THE NEXT! How are we to do this, if we don't even see our kids? Kids should be taught to TRY new things, but it is not expected of them to be the best in ALL things. We are all given special talents and abilities by God, and it takes time to discover and nurture these talents so that we can use them for God. In order to discover what your talents are, and what God is wanting from your life, you must have QUIET, STILL hours in the day. If we want our children to develop virtues and morals they need to spend more hours a week with people who are demonstrating these virtues and morals, and who are willing to listen and talk with them openly about these morals and virtues. Who are these people? THEIR PARENTS! Family time needs to be a priority on a DAILY basis. Remember.. it is quantity time that leads to quality time.

Do you honestly think that all these so called friends, who are by definition, trying to best you in clubs and sports, going to give you the loving guidance, support, and trust, that parents are supposed to? Nope.

Sports are supposed to be a fun way to play with our friends and get some exercise; they are not a definition of our lives. Clubs and organizations are supposed to help us develop the interests and talents that we have, and a way for us to serve our community using those talents; they are not there as a "who can do the most" contest. We can not do everything or anything ourselves. We are dependent on God. Our relationship with Him is the priority of our lives, and our children's. We develop this relationship by spending time with Him. God doesn't want us to do everything. He has a specific job for each of us, not ALL of the jobs, that is why we are communities of lots of people, each of whom as a special place and ability to help the community.

If we exclude and shun people who "don't keep up" will we recognize God if he knocks on our door?

Things to think about..  

Another Book Review: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom

I read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom by Amy Chou last week. I had heard a lot of discussion and controversy over it, and as a Mom who reads all the raising kids and discipline books I can find, I just had to read it. I am always on the hunt for ways to help my children become what I dream for them, and ways to give them the tools they will need to succeed in life.

I will admit that I believed her hypothesis before I even started "That Asian (Chinese) kids are harder working and more disciplined then Western (American) kids"; I went into it looking for pointers! It was a great read with a moving storyline and interesting situations. She was so brutally honest and open about how she was raising her daughters, the daily happenings, and how her family felt/dealt with it. It only took two evenings to read, which is a great length for busy mothers, another plus!
The way that she was successful at raising two high achieving daughters is that she pushed them to their best at all times, and was their mentor, spiritual director, teacher and coach. Though not a Christian, as I was reading, several Bible verses kept coming to mind. "Speak to your children of the way in the morning, in the noontime, and in the evening, and when they are old, they will not part from my ways." Along with several of the Proverbs that deal with working hard, patience and perseverance. If a child brought home even a B, they were given extra work and drills over the missed items. They were kept on a strict schedule of school work first, hobbies second, and those hobbies were chosen for them as toddlers (musical instruments). They were made to practice hours a day/weekend with lessons. Which brought to mind another saying that I often hear during the Olympics and while watching child prodigies "The more you practice, the easier you can makes things look!" She often told her daughters that they were better than B grades, and her daughters, as I believe all children would, believed it, and therefore learned to push themselves to higher levels, with her tutoring and encouraging; which brings me to another highly accepted parenting theory. That parents are the biggest influence on their children, and that all kids will imitate their parents spiritual and worldly virtues and morals from watching their example. The more time and effort parents put into forming their kids, the better the results they will see. Something that she was able to see with her second daughter. As a young teenager, her younger daughter quit the violin to persue tennis. While her mother disagreed with her decision, she was able to watch her daughter put into practice, on her own, the time, practice and commitment levels that she had pushed on her musically earlier in her life.

For this.. it takes more than an hour or two a day! Contrary to what several "experts" will tell you, it is quantity, not quality that counts when it comes to children; and failure on a child's part IS a reflection on the parents.

One point that I will disagree with Mrs. Chou on is the play dates and sleepover bans. Though I will say these should be a once/twice a year indulgences, not every weekend occurrences, they should be allowed to happen. These are opportunities for our children to put into practice on their own, the virtues and morals we have handed to them. We cannot completely protect our children from the world, and these small occurrences are circumstances for our children to make the right decisions on their own without us watching, they are also a glimpse of other peoples habits, virtues and morals, for our children to notice, and judge on.

I am recommending this book to all parents and grandparents. And as with all advice, take from this book that which will help you, and leave the rest.

Re-discovering Integrity

A wonderful article about teaching children integrity. As parents this is one of our most important tasks, next to teaching them to love God, love others, and to serve others; which is impossible without integrity. With integrity we achieve full responsibility for ourselves, high maturity, and virtuous lives.


Re-discovering Integrity

Spiritual Reading

I am finally reading Full of Grace by Johnnette Benkovic. We had to search and search for anything written by her. All our local bookstores and libraries don't stock books by any contemporary catholic authors it seems. Has been a challenge, and finally had to order it online. Guess that is purely a sign of the times. Seems more and more if you want something, you have to special order it, and have to pay with a credit card. So much for those of us trying to be smart with our money and not use credit cards! Oh well..

  As difficult as it may be to read a non fiction book with four kids and a husband running around, this one is worth it for women! She is so intelligent, insightful, and has a way of showing us how to incorporate God's teachings into our everyday lives. The goals and suggestions that she gives are doable! With women earning a prominent role in the modern world, and all the influence and power we seem to hold now, it is our responsibility to remember our true vocation given all women by God "To bring life into the world". Not only does this mean to have children, but to raise them well for God. But not only are we responsible for the spiritual bringing up of our children, but of ALL God's children that He places before us! She also outlines the virtues we need to nurture, the steps we need to take to create a deep prayer life, and practical ways we can live out this vocation in the course of our lives. She backs up all her premises with quotes from several different sources within the Catholic church, and personal encounters of her own. Remember your highlighter and pen each moment you get to sit with this book!


 Getting through a non-fiction book may take us a little longer, and we may have to re-read the same sentence 10 times, but they influence us to better ourselves and help us to grow closer to God. Give yourself a 15 minute period everyday to do this good. It will invigorate our minds like exercise does our bodies!

Back Up and Running

Our computer bit the dust a few weeks back, and we are finally up and running again! I was excited to see and hear about having other people who actually read this blog! Thanks Aunts! Now I will try to be more faithful to it. Been trying to get my house deep cleaned and organized for the start of the new school year. One more week! It is going well, and I am looking forward to some quieter mornings.

We have had some challenges the last couple of weeks, computer breaking, water pump out of Kevin's car, a couple other unexpected bills, and Kevin's Godfather passed away suddenly. It is harder in these times, it seems, to be faithful to God's will, and keeping him first when you have all these matters pressing in on you from all sides that seem to need to take a priority in your day. You can't let yourself slip from God as your center. He is your most important allie, and He gives us these challenges in hopes of drawing us closer to Him, and building our character. Like parents everywhere say "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!" Sufferings, even everyday ones, are graces from God. He only lets His closest friends suffer. How you choose to handle these sufferings, is the test. Will you give up and turn away into depression, or will you persevere, continue the fight and make God proud.